Call Me Simon

Chapter 19

Simon

I hate myself. I officially hate myself. I still can't believe what I did. First of all, I threatened to kill someone and second of all, I scared my own boyfriend because of it. And he's been avoiding me. I don't blame him. I would feel the same way he does now if I had to experience seeing that. The look on Elio's face still frightens me. I have to find him. I have to apologize to him.

As school ends, I start to walk to my car when I see Elio. He is doing something I would never expect him to even do, he is smoking. I close my eyes to know that this is all in my head and that my boyfriend is not smoking. I open them and there he is, still smoking. He never tells me anything anymore. I decide to do what every concerned boyfriend does whenever they see their boyfriend smoking, I walked up to him and took the cigarette away from him and threw it as far as I could.

"Hey, I was using that." he says. I honestly don't care.

"We need to talk." I say.

"We actually don't." he says and turns to leave.

I was not about to let him go that easily, no matter how adorable he is. I grabbed him and pushed him up against a wall and practically pinned him there. God, why do I keep on push people up against walls? I really need to learn not to do that so much.

"Listen, I'm so sorry." I say.

"Okay, great. Can I go now?" he says.

"No. I did something I regret completely. I shouldn't have threatened Martin the way I did. Maybe I shouldn't have threatened him at all. And I'm definitely sorry for scaring you." I say. "After you left, I had this idea, that since my actions made you have a panic attack, that I'm just as bad as Oliver. Am I just as bad as him?"

"Of course not." Elio begins. "You are the total opposite of him. You're better than him. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't ask for anyone else. I love you."

I start to smile. "I love you too. I really needed to hear you say that after what happened today." I unpin him from the wall and immediately give him a hug. I start to notice that I am holding Elio very tight but he doesn't seem to notice. Good, I think to myself.

Because I don't want him to let go.

Elio

The day went by greatly. And that means slowly. And it's painful. After the lunch incident, I avoided Simon. Call me horrible, but I don't want to talk to him. Not because he gave me a panic attack, but because I don't feel like feeling today. And what better to make my day horrible than doing my least favorite thing, smoking. Yes, I smoke. But I'm not addicted. I did it a few times back in Italy. I never liked the taste or smell of it, but the burning of it is somewhat therapeutic.

After school, I walked around the school building to the back and grabbed my pack. I took one out and light it with my lighter. I took one breath and immediately regret it. I hate it. I hate that I do this. I then heard footsteps walking towards me and I look up in time to see Simon snatch my cigarette away and throw it somewhere.

"Hey, I was using that." I say.

"We need to talk." He says. I can't deal with this right now.

"We actually don't." I say and turn to leave. But Simon grabbed me and pinned me against the wall. I smirk on the inside. I like it when he's angry.

"Listen, I'm so sorry." He says. Like I haven't heard that one before.

"Okay, great. Can I go now?" I ask.

"No. I did something I regret completely. I shouldn't have threatened Martin the way I did. Maybe I shouldn't have threatened him at all. And I'm definitely sorry for scaring you. After you left, I had this idea, that since my actions made you have a panic attack, that I'm just as bad as Oliver. Am I just as bad as him?" He says.

No. Don't you dare say that. Don't you ever say that you're just as bad as him. Don't ever.

"Of course not. You are the total opposite of him. You're better than him. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't ask for anyone else. I love you." I say. Simon smiles.

"I love you too. I really needed to hear you say that after what happened today." Simon lets go of me to give me a hug. A very tight one.

But I don't want want to let go.