Scared Yet? M.YG

ch.9

I fell asleep that night with my mind buzzing with shame.

I was disgusted and desperately wanted to shower to try and clean myself of him.

but I couldnt, this was a mental thing, and you can't just wash that away with soap and water.

he ended up coming back in the room to sleep with me, he repeatedly said he was sorry and that he didn't know what got over him.

the next morning I woke up with him hugging me from behind, because last night I refused to face him and surpriseingly he didn't get mad.

but he also knew what he did, so I'm geussing he understood.

none the less he still hugged me digging his chin into the crook of my neck.

i had woke up atleast three times with tears in my eyes.

now I'm awake for the fourth time with the sun on the rise and no idea of what the time is.

I stared at yoongis veiny hands wrapping around my waist and arms, holding me snug.

I felt him stir behind me with his eyes fluttering open.

he sat up and looked at me.

"good morning doll, are you ok?"he asked sweetly as he spotted my tear stained face, wipeing them.

but then I began to cry more as his thumb rubbed my cheek.

I sat up and held my arms out like a little kid waiting for him to embrace me.

he caught my drift and grabbed me tightly hugging me, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

I cried into his shoulder while he rubbed my back in circles.

"shhh, it's ok"he whispered into my ear with a soothing voice.

I pulled away to look at him.

"yoongi"I said wipeing my nose then looking at him.

he nodded his head, his hands still resting on my waist.

"I wanna know what you meant when you said I was the only person that gave you a chance in highschool"I asked looking at him as my curiousity got the best of me.

he sighed with a sad look.

"you really don't remember?"he asked, rubbing his thumbs in circles on my hip bones.

I nodded my head yes.

he nodded and breathed in deeply letting it out slowly.

"ok, well, I moved to your highschool in the 10th grade.
most of the students thought I was weird because I kept to myself, so I got bullied, but then the next year, you moved there too. you were the first person to stand up for me and from that day forward I watched you, I would watch you in the halls and if you spotted me you would ask me how I was doing, or if I'd like to have lunch with you and your friends, but I always rejected. 1. because your friends were some of my bullies when your not around and 2.I didn't want you to think of me as weird too, so I watched from a far and continued until you graduated then a year later you began working at the cafè, so that's when I got the courage to talk to you and make you mine"he finished, smileing the whole time.

I was looking at him with wide eyes.

i couldn't beleive it, I was so confused.

he began to look concerned as his smile fell.

"what's wrong"he asked holding my cheeks.

"you were stalking me,since the 11th grade?"I asked a little angry.

I could tell he didn't like my attitude as his face contorted into anger.

"everything I did was because I love you, everything I did was to keep you safe"he said clinching his hands onto my cheeks.

I shook my head.

"you could have just talked to me yoongi"I said softly.

he began to get angerier as he looked into my eyes moving his face close, our noses almost touching.

"you would never understand"he said then leaned back to see my whole face.

"this world is filthy! everyone, everything here is filthy!I wanted to keep you pure! your mine! you will always be mine!
AND YOUR NOT FUCKING LEAVING!!!" he yelled into my face clenching his hands onto my shoulders causeing my face to cringe in pain.

he then softened his grip looking at me with a smile.

"don't you see Y/N?i fucking love you, I love you so, so much. Y/N I've never loved anyone, not even my own mother, but you. your so special, your so pure. I admire that, I admire that you never had to grow up with my life, so innocent, I want to perserve it, I want you for myself"he said softly, his eyes switching between both of mine looking for any emotion.

he then hugged me tightly.

"I love you"he said squeezing tighter.

my face was filled with emptiness as I tried to process what he had said.

"you will learn to love me Y/N, i promise we can be together soon, we can be a happy, live happily, purely"he said pulling away to look into my eyes.

a tear strolled down my cheek.

"we'll be together forever"he said smileing softly.

I gotta get out of here.