friends //cody bellinger

thirty three

 "Emberly," Cole knocks again, "I'm going to come in if you don't say something" He pauses, and I could hear the movements his body made because he was pressing himself up against the door. 

"Em," Cole's voice continues to speak, but I didn't want to respond, "are you okay at least?"

I shake my head even though I know he can't see me.

I hear the doorknob turn slowly, but my fixtured stare on the shower in front of me doesn't break.

I sat with my back against the wall and my head in my knees. Tears were stained against my cheeks, and I knew that there was no way I'd be able to keep myself together in court.

"Oh god," Cole's voice is hushed, and before I knew it, he was right next to me.

He takes all three of the plastic pregnancy tests out of my hand, sighing as he puts them on the counter.

He sits next to me, draping his arm over my shoulders and pulling my face into his chest.

He rests his chin on top of my head, using his thumb to blindly wipe the tears off of my face.

"It's going to be alright, Em. It'll be okay."

I appreciated his words of comfort, but they were no help to me. It's not going to be okay.

I look at Cole and shake my head, "No it's not. Cody's gone, how am I supposed to do this without him?"

Cole sighs, not knowing how to answer.

"What's going on?" I look up in a panic when I hear a hear a voice, feeling relief when I see that it's only Chris.

Neither Cole or I respond. It doesn't take long for Chris's gaze to fall towards the counter and his question to be answered on its own.

He leans against the doorway next to him, lifting his head up and tightly shutting his eyes. "How did this happen Emberly?"

I look down and away from Chris, shaking my head and feeling my eyes starting to let tears fall again. "I have no clue, I've been on birth control since Cody and I started dating."

Chris sits down in front of me and rests his hand on my knee.

"I'm 17, Chris," I whisper because my voice was incapable of going any louder.

Chris and Cole trade looks. Both of them have fear dwelled into their eyes, and I know that they're just as scared as I am.

"We'll help you through this, Em," Cole comforts me, using his fingers to brush through my hair. "We promised Cody that we'd protect you while he's away, and that includes going through this with you."

"I love you guys, but I can't do this without Cody."

"He's your rock, we know Em," Chris says in a gentle voice, "but before you decide whether or not you think that you can do this, you've got to tell Cody first."

I nod but don't say anything. I sit up, leaning against the wall and wiping my eyes. I take a deep breath before standing myself up. I straighten out the white dress I was wearing and splash water over my swollen eyes.

I wasn't going to look the most presentable at my hearing, but after the week - nevertheless the morning- that I've had, I don't care about how I'm going to look.

I wrap up one of the tests and put it in my purse. I get to have a fifteen-minute supervised visit with Cody before my trial, and I plan on telling him then.

The boys stand up next to me, and I give them both a small forced smile.

Cole's phone buzzes and he quickly checks it. "My parents are here to pick me up, I'll see you guys at the courthouse."