Poker Face

Chapter 14 - Interlude

Saints protect her now
Come, angels of the lord
Come, angels of unknown
~

Soon, the daylight was completely gone and they were still hours off from the outpost. Negan pulled off on the side of the road and turned off the car but didn't make another move. He sat stoically, gritting his teeth as he stared off into the distance.

"You're right," he mumbled finally. Aven hadn't acknowledged his presence since last speaking, not looking at him once. Finally, she turned to see Negan looking almost broken. Even though he accepted that he was a violent asshole, he thought of himself as a hero. He held himself up to Aven as the person who rode in and saved her life, but now he felt he had just been one man fighting another for possession of her. 

"If you want to rest, I can take over," she offered, trying to diffuse the tension. Negan's demeanor weighed heavily on her as she was stuck in a battle of her own. She wanted to hate him, and should have hated him. He was nothing but a brute making excuses for himself to take whatever he wanted. He was a cruel coercion artist. And yet there she was, sitting in the car on the side of the road with him. 

"Nah, doll," he replied groggily. "You don't know where we're going."

"I don't understand why there's a specific place you have to leave me. I could just get out here, it doesn't matter." The only reason Aven was cooperating was because of a nagging feeling still drawing her to Negan and the fact that he'd be gone soon anyway. She wondered if he meant it, if he really heard what she said. She wondered if he'd ever truly be willing to change.

"If that's what you want, I can't stop you," he replied solemnly before swinging the door open and hopping out of the car. He made his way around back and opened the trunk, grabbing a blanket before pushing the seats down flat and climbing in. "But I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: If you really wanted to walk away, you'd be a mile down the road by now." He stretched out on his back with his arms behind his head before peeking at Aven, who looked like a deer in the headlights. He was certain he had her just where he wanted her. "So? You coming or going?" She stared back at him, searching his eyes as usual to see what she could gather. Before her mouth could say no, her body was already moving to climb into the backseat. She'd been alone for long enough that she told herself she could spare one night dipping into the minimal feelings she had for a stranger she'd never see again.

She sat down next to Negan and gasped when his gloved hand slipped under her shirt and around her waist to pull her down. She froze against his side and began to shake, but without moving his one hand from her bare skin, he moved the other to begin to stroke her hair lightly and she melted into him.

"Shit, that was easier than I thought. You're being a good little girl," he murmured, the desire in his voice inadvertantly dripping from his lips. She felt her face grow hot and was glad it was too dark for Negan to see. "Be honest with me, doll. You don't want to leave. You'd miss me too much," his voice rumbled in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. He softly brushed his lips from her ear to her cheek, lingering and grinning against her face when her breath hitched in her throat. Up until then, his touch had been innocent, not necessarily in intention but in form. Whether he was cupping her face to get her attention or picking her up when she was weak, she needed time to adjust and not feel like every foreign touch was an attack.

But as her breaths became shorter and her chest heaved against him nervously, he wondered if she was craving more just as much as he was. He used the hand on her waist to push her t-shirt up so it bunched at her ribs, revealing just enough skin to make her feel exposed to him before lightly sweeping the back of his fingers against her ribcage. A squeak broke from her throat and her entire body twitched before she hid her face against his chest, embarrassed at her reaction.

"You ticklish, baby girl?" She could hear the corners of his lips curling upwards.

"No," she managed to whisper shakily.

"Why do I think that's another fucking lie?" he teased before again grazing his hand down her skin and getting the same reaction. He let out a deep chuckle, pressing his forehead to the top of her head before bringing the same hand up to rest on her cheek and brushing his thumb lightly across it. She was still shaking and looked up at him terrified but didn't pull away. He brought his face to hers and hovered an inch away, looking deep into her eyes until he noticed they were filling with tears. He backed off slightly, keeping his hand on her cheek. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked earnestly.

"No," she squeaked again, but this time it wasn't a lie. There was a heavy pool of tears in each of her eyes and she was trying not to blink, but the tears spilled out anyway and she pulled him back, pressing her face into his chest as sobs began to choke out of her throat. Negan felt a lump in his throat as he resumed stroking her hair.

"Why are you crying?" he asked softly, but she could only shake her head in reply. They sat up and he held her as she began to shake harder until she finally calmed back down. "Aven, when was the last time someone touched you because you wanted them to?"

"I don't know," she replied simply. "A lifetime ago." Negan brought his hand back to her face, gently tilting her chin up towards him and again moving his face close to hers.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked again.

"No," she breathed, her tears gone but her eyes still wet from crying.

Negan closed the rest of the gap between them, softly placing his lips against hers once and pulling away just enough to watch the tension once again leave her body as she let out a shaky sigh. He leaned back in, this time kissing her with slightly more force, flexing his lips against hers and prompting her to run her hands up his chest to clasp around the back of his neck. He pulled back again to press a third, more firm kiss and his hand moved from her face to the back of her head, gently tangling his fingers in her hair. She sighed into him and he parted her lips with his tongue, tugging at her hair to tilt her head back and deepen the kiss. Aven indulged for a moment more before pulling back with a shiver.

"Cold?" Negan asked. With the sun set, the night air grew cool and Negan pulled up the blanket he'd taken out of the trunk. He lay down and pulled Aven into him so she was resting on his shoulder with a hand placed tentatively on his chest. He spread the blanket over them and tucked it around Aven's shoulder and then he let out a yawn as the fatigue from the long drive finally set in. Before they fell asleep, Negan snaked an arm down around Aven's leg and pulled it between his so they were tangled together.

"I'm still leaving," Aven said softly. The words saddened him but her heart wasn't behind them.

"I know," he whispered dismissively before kissing her gently on the top of her head. "Goodnight, Aven."