Artemisia High

5 | Insecure

"Wait, I'm confused. Who broke it?!"

Peony laughed and Cinder chuckled. Iko just furrowed her brows and looked more confused than before. The three were waiting at the BART station together. Peony was Cinder's adoptive sister, and Iko was both their foster sisters. Garan brought Iko home five years before he brought Cinder. No one could explained why Garan adopted Cinder instead of fostering her, but Adri didn't like that as much. Despite getting money from checks from the foster care system, Adri put both girls to work. Iko knew she would be forced out as soon as she turned 18, and Cinder would leave voluntarily after high school, much to Adri's delight.

"No one broke it, Iko," Peony responded.

"Well, I'm glad your first day of high school went well," Cinder told her freshman sister. "Honestly, junior year is shaping up to be hell."

"Aw, it doesn't seem so bad to me," Iko said. "I like being at the top of the food chain. Or, close to it."

"I'm sure there's something you like about being junior," Peony told Cinder.

"...Mechanics IV, I guess, 'cause we get to do some cool independent projects later in the year. Though I'm not sure if it'll be very fun at the start."

"Why? You love Mechanics class as much as I love soap operas. Maybe even more," Iko said and gasped for dramatic effect.

Cinder chuckled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The train had arrived. They got on and took seats near the middle of their car.

Cinder was a little uncomfortable with Iko's gaze, and her facade cracked.

"You're hiding something!" Iko exclaimed.

Peony hushed her when she saw strangers gawking at them, but she was also on the edge of her seat with excitement. She and Iko gossiped about everything and everyone, but Cinder had yet to come up.

"We're your sisters; you can tell us," Peony reassured Cinder.

"I know you'll tease me about it."

"We would never," Iko said dramatically, "right, Peony?"

Peony looked at her and prepared her overly-dramatic response, but she couldn't keep a straight face when she saw Iko bat her false eyelashes. They both burst into laughter at the act, and before she could scold them, Cinder cracked a smile, too.

"Fine. It's just...I have to work with Kai on my—"

"KAI?!" Cinder's sisters squealed in sync.

"Yes, Kai," Cinder said and rolled her eyes.

"Omigosh! Is he cute?" Peony gushed. "I mean, I know he's cute, but is he, like, uber cute up close?!"

"Can I finish my story first?" Cinder said.

Peony nodded. She tried to regain her composure, but she just couldn't contain her delight. She was no anomaly. Every girl at Artemisia High would jump for joy at the mention of the school's heartthrob's name. Every girl but one.

"As I was saying, I have to work with Kai on our first project in Mechanics, and if you didn't already know, he is horrible at Mechanics. No one should let that boy near wire cutters."

"And?" Iko said.

"As if it weren't bad enough to have to do a group project, I have to work with the worst person in the entire class. No, the entire program. I just don't want to look bad in front of my teacher. That's the only thing I'm good at, you know?"

"Oh, Cinder, you're being melodramatic," Iko said.

"That's rich coming from you."

Iko ignored the subtle dig. "Cinder," she said in a softer voice, "you're the best mechanic I know. No one could bring you down, not even Kai." She livened her tone a bit. "Plus, you've proven immune to his charm, so it's not like he'll be a distraction or anything."

Before Cinder could respond, Peony chirped up. "This is our stop!"

Peony got up first and grabbed onto the railing as she approached the door. The other girls followed suit. The door opened and they stepped out one by one in a row like ducklings.

As they walked a few blocks to the Phoenix Tower apartments in Chinatown where they lived, the subject of Kai was forgotten. They switched to conversing about other boys and teachers and classmates. Cinder contributed little to the conversation; her mind was elsewhere.

As soon as they got home, Cinder greeted Adri and walked to her room. She had an idea of what she wanted to make for Mechanics and she didn't want to lose it. She sat down at her desk and pulled out her drawing pad and a pencil. While sketching the diagram, she could hear Adri and Peony talking. Instead of closing her door, Cinder kept working and mentally drowned out the noise.

At some point, Cinder had to sharpen her pencil. She was so engrossed in the task that she didn't notice the sound of footsteps approaching. Soon, the door was completely open and a figure stood in the doorway.

"So, when is Kai coming over?" Peony asked in a dreamlike voice.

Cinder stopped sharpening her pencil but didn't turn around to face Peony. "He's not."

"What do you mean 'he's not'?" asked a now-startled Peony.

"He's not coming over. End of story."

"Why not?" Peony asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer.

"Peony..."

"Are you embarrassed of me? Of us?"

"Of course not. I just don't want him to come over, okay?"

"You're no fun," Peony huffed as she left the room.

What Cinder meant was that she didn't want him to come over because she didn't want to get more involved with Kai than she needed to. They were very different and didn't need to mix. Also, Cinder would be glad to complete as much of this project on her own.

And Cinder didn't say it, but truthfully—despite all the barriers she'd built up over the years to keep herself from caring about what other people thought of her—she was embarrassed of herself.