I open the locker, feeling hundreds of eyes piercing through the back of my head. It felt as though I couldn't catch a break. Of course, everyone would know that I had cancer. I wish they hadn't but lately my wishes weren't coming true. I was getting fed up with the staring, and the whispers. Everyone was acting as though I couldn't;t hear them, yeah I'm dying, cancer is kicking my butt. But, I'm not stupid. I slam the locker shut, hearing the low whispers come to a halt.
"Have you never seen a girl with cancer before?!" I yell out, infuriated. I catch a glimpse of a tall boy with dark brown hair, wearing his liberty high baseball shirt, as I look over I notice how stiff Jeff was standing.
Tears begin to brim my eyes, as I drop my head slowly shaking it. I turn my back to the crowd and walk down the hallway feeling heads turn as my body slowly passes my fellow classmates. We hadn't talked about it. He knew I had cancer by now, they - being my friends - all found out the night I was emitted into the hospital. Although, Jeff knew that I had cancer, we never actually discussed the topic. It was almost as if we were trying our hardest to avoid it, praying that maybe that would help it go away. If only it were possible. I finally make it to the end of the hallway before I realize it was a dead end. Could this day get any worse?
It was my first day back to school in a month, the doctors had some big ordeal with my grandparents. Which we would discuss later. Something about not thinking it was best for my health if I returned to school. They advised I continued high school online, but I wanted to continue to live my life, however long that would be, as a normal teenager. At least try to.
I look around trying to quickly think of something to do so I didn't look so stupid walking to a dead end of the hallway. I was wondering what people were thinking of me right now, I take a quick glance back and see some people with apologetic looks on their face. I was wondering if they felt bad for me, most likely thinking to themselves 'how the cancer must be making me delusional or something.' I slowly set my book bag on the ground and take a seat on the hallway floor in the secluded corner. I wrap my legs criss-cross applesauce as you did in kindergarten when you had to sit on the floor. I rest my head on the lockers, inserting my headphones wishing the day would hurry up and end. I didn't enjoy the constant stares. I never had, which I know what you are thinking is pretty ironic.
It felt as though I had been there for twenty seconds before I was visited by someone, I look up to find the one and only Montgomery De La Cruz. I go to take my headphone out as he invites himself to sit down beside me. I turn to look at him as he hands my a folder filled with papers.
"I took the initiative to grab all the papers you missed from this past week. I talked to Porter, he is going to exempt you from three weeks of missing work but if you could complete this it would help you pass the class. I also grab the material for last period today it should be in there." he explained while wrapping his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder.
"Thanks, but why did you grab todays material, I'm here today." I said utterly confused.
"You are here at school but you won't be in class. Neither will Jeff. You need to talk to him. As much as we would all like to ignore the fact that you have cancer, we can't because that won't make it disappear. You have to talk to him at some point." he spoke the truth.
This is why we were best friends. We didn't have to tell each other anything because we already knew. There was no point in secrets because it was like we could read each others minds. I looked at him knowing I couldn't dig my way out of this argument. I hug him tight, as I hear the bell ring for our final period. Monty quickly stands up grabbing my hand puling me up. I collect my things, and he head in our opposite directions. He heads to class as I head to the bleachers to find the one person I wanted to talk to, about the one thing I wanted to avoid.
I make my way to the bleachers, slowly but surely. It took me twice as long to get there than it usually would considering I turned around twice. But, of course I knew I couldn't avoid it because the second time I turned around my phone chimed indicating a text. It was from Monty threatening me if I turned around and tried to avoid the situation.
As I finally arrive to the bleachers I see him sitting at the tip top, I shake my head my hands quivering as I begin to panic. I start climbing the bleachers until I make it to him and walk to the end of the row. I finally make it after what feels like an eternity. I sit down beside him looking down at my hands refusing to make eye contact. I was brought out of my thoughts by his soothing voice.
"Your finger is purple." he states out as he reaches over to hold my hand, caressing it. I shift a little on the bleacher sitting criss cross to face him.
I was still looking down when I stifled out a laugh, "I slammed it in the locker earlier." I reply.
"Ouch..." was all he said.
What was I doing right now? What were we doing? It was like I was terrified to talk, because it felt like if I said the wrong thing than our friendship would come to a halt, and our relationship would be over with. I didn't want that. I couldn't even think about that happening.
"I...," I try to relax my body, seeing as he could tell how tense I was. "I don't exactly know what to say. I wanted to avoid both this conversation as well as the situation, but we can't avoid it forever. I just, all I want is to not lose you." My voice begins to fade at the end of the sentence, almost as if I was scared to admit the truth to him, to Jeff. And if there is one thing I know for sure, I NEVER was scared to admit the truth to Jeff, because just like Montgomery, who had been my best friend since forever, I could be exactly who I was meant to be around him.
We sat there, breathing the same air, quietly. The cool breeze brushing against our faces as it passes us by. It had felt like we had been there for a few moments but in reality school had been one for the past hour, and Jeff was extremely late for practice.
"Did you know?" Jeff finally spoke up.
"Did I know I had cancer?" I asked him, not exactly understanding the question.
"Did you know it returned?" he justified. I didn't want to tell him but I knew I had to.
