PARKER ⌁ peter p. imagines

drunk texting

this one's a teeny bit different...
half texting & half irl
: )

____

y/n🦋
- wEEE

peter <3
- ?

y/n🦋
- i said
WEEEEE
- my heads out
the winder
- winder?
- i sound southern
- wait listen to my farmer
impersonation it's rly goof
- *good
- aha
- her it is
- im a farmer! i grow
cows and corns🤠

peter <3
- what
- oh geez
- y/n are u
fuckin drunk

y/n🦋
language cap!

peter <3
- huh
- whatever
- where are you
i'm gonna go
pick you up

y/n🦋
no bitch

peter <3
- y/n please

y/n🦋
- alrihhtthtttg
- but only cus
u begged ; )
current location

peter <3
- you're at
michelle's??

y/n🦋
- yee
- she onvited me
for an 80s movie
marathon. i sorta
had too much vodka
- it fine though

peter <3
- it's not fine
- may will kill
me if she ever finds
out i let you get drunk

y/n🦋
- let me get
deunk?
- u wernt
even here

peter <3
- i'll be there
in 5 minutes tops

y/n🦋
- speaking
of tops
- peter i'm
horny
- ;(

peter <3
- ohmyGod
- i am not having this
conversation with you

y/n🦋
- peter
- i NEED sex
- like now
- being a virgin
is so boring
- i just had the most
brilliantest idea ever
- peter
- we should
totally have sex

peter <3
- i'm driving
- and you're drunk

y/n🦋
- ur point

peter <3
- you're not in
your right mind
- you don't want
to have sex with me
- you're just intoxicated

y/n🦋
- yeah..
- but you're
intoxicating
- wow i should
be a poet
- i'll be like
edgar allen poe
- and my name can be
- EDGAR ALLEN HOE
- i can already
taste the fame and the
dicks flying my way
- alright peter ur free to go
- ur peepee is no longer
needed by mua

peter <3
- i'm outside
- do you need help?
- y/n?

y/n🦋
- sorry i
fell asleep

peter <3
- where are you?

y/n🦋
- i'm in a
room upstairs
- find me!

peter <3
- you are the
most difficult
person i know

The door creaked open, and a head popped in, making sure this was the correct room. Once you recognized him, a smile appeared on your face. Even when you were drunk, his presence is the only thing that could make you smile like that. Before checking up on you, he walked into the bathroom and grabbed a trash can, just in case. He placed the waste basket on the floor close to where you sat, sitting himself in front of you. "How'd you get this drunk?" Peter sighed, pushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

You shrugged, not particularly wanting to tell him that you got hammered because he asked Liz to homecoming instead of you, or that you've been getting shitfaced every weekend since. Today just happened to be the day you made a fatal mistake, allowing your drunk alter-ego, Helga, to text Peter.

"It's not my fault. Blame Helga."

Peter cocked an eyebrow. "Helga?"

"It's what I call my drunk self." You explained like it was obvious. "Totally different person."

"Was that Helga texting me she wanted to have sex with me?" Peter laughed.

"No sir." You slid your legs under the covers and scooted to the other side of he bed, giving Peter enough space to lay down beside you. As soon as you felt the bed dip beside you, the truth started coming out. "That was Marisol. My horny alter-ego. She wants dick all the time." You found your way to Peter's chest and gently laid your head on it, feeling his arm wrap around your waist.

"It's exhausting being you." Peter said sarcastically with a smile.

"I know right." You yawned, keeping your voice at a whisper. "Trying to hide my feelings for you is especially exhausting." You were half asleep by now and unaware that you were spilling your own secrets. "I just want to love you."

He was struck by this information. He didn't know whether to believe it or not, why would someone like you love someone like him? "A-are you sure it's not another alter-ego?" He asked, his voice cracking at the thought of you actually having feelings for him.

You shook your head against his chest, eyes fluttering shut. "Nope. That's all me."