Umm... What?

Relationship

I have a girlfriend now....

I don't know how, honestly.

But! Although I am really happy who I'm with and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else... I couldn't help but notice something. Her and I have only been dating for two days, but I noticed that something changed in me that has never ever ever ever happened before, and it happened earlier at three in the morning (it's 5 in the morning right now).

Now, let me tell you something about her that will help you understand where I'm coming from in this situation. She's in middle school, and anyone who goes to public schools will know that it is the worst. Don't worry, guys, I'm only 2 years older than her. But, anyways, in middle school, it's always important to have a group of friends you can trust because without them, you become a big depressed mess. Her friends don't like her because she often has panic attacks at school, which allows her to leave early, or not even go. So they are just rude to her and that makes her feel terrible. But, what I've come up with is that her panic attacks are from the lack of having the proper love and care at home. She's an only child, and her parents are always treating her like she is a mistake in their lives that they can't erase. So she has no one to rely on. That is, until I showed up. 

We've known each other for about a month now, maybe a few days before that, but just about. And yeah, you may say that's a really short amount of time to know someone and then date them. Blah blah blah, yeah yeah yeah, I know. But the thing is, during that month, there were some things I regretted doing and that she regretted her reaction to those things, and because I felt like I was the main one to cause the problem, I sent her a long apology. I would've loved to do more than just a stupid apology. After that, she started to warm up to me, and she told me all of this stuff about her, and that made me so happy, because that means she was beginning to trust me in such small amount of time. Then she had a break down because, at the time, she had a girlfriend, and I'm not going to get into it, but that girlfriend just.. wasn't a good person. I helped her through that break down because I've been through stuff like that and I cared about her, she was my friend. Honestly, in that moment is when I really fell in love, because it was a moment that was happening and I could actually help her and I made her feel so much better. 

But that's a little bit of background information, and so now you know, she's an anxious little princess. So now I'm going to tell you about what happened earlier today and then the thing that I noticed changed about me in two days.

Yesterday I went hiking, though at this time it was more like a little walk down to a stream by the road. I was having fun and stuff, I took a picture of the pretty scenery. I was about to go into the water, just my feet and such, when I hear," Riley's flipflop!" (Riley being my littlest sister's name) I look up and see my older sister pointing to a small flipflop going downstream. My heroic senses kicked in and I ran on the shore after the shoe, and then I thought the stream was going to be shallow all the way through, so I run into the middle of the stream... It went up to my hips and my phone was in my pocket. But of course I didn't realize that because I was too worried about my little sister's shoe. The current was a bit too strong and was pushing the shoe quickly downstream. So I go back on shore and run more until I couldn't run anymore. Luckily, the shoe was caught by the shallow end and stopped on a rock. So I go over to it, having to go back into the deep part, then I got the shoe.... Except my little sister's other flipflop had come off and started coming downstream. I thought," Oh I could catch it as it comes down." So I start making my way back, thinking Imma get the shoe. In the distance, I see my mom making the gesture to turn around, so I turn around and apparently the shoe had gone past me without me realizing it. I groan, out of breath, and go to rescue the other flipflop. I take a step and slip on a loose rock, which caused me to fully submerge in the water. My phone is still in my pocket, by the way. I eventually retrieved the other flipflop and made my way back to shore, soaking wet and miserable. Now that my heroic mode is off, it hits me that my phone is in my pocket.

My phone is fine and it still works, the battery just needs to dry out. But until then, I can't text my girlfriend. Usually, I'd worry a little about my partner in this situation, but for some reason, I was full on having an anxiety attack, I was crying and shaking, full of worry for my girlfriend. Turns out, she was fine, I had a friend text her, but I was so fucking terrified that something happened to her. And, because I reacted so differently then how I normally do, I honestly feel like she's a keeper, she's going to be forever mine, and I will protect her and comfort her and make her know she's safe with me. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to my beautiful angel.