Last 2 years of Ciara's life

Chapter 12

28th December... Yep. I could count the days I am going to live on one of my hands. The previous four days, I had so much fun with family, friends, etc. and now I had no idea what I was gonna do. I just had three days to live. Three days. I have no idea where I would be without Chloe. She is like the best friend I could ever get. She was there to help me in the hardest of times.

And I have not talked to Lucas much. I feel like he is taking revenge on me by showing me how he felt when I avoided him. He never replies to my messages. Never answers my calls. I was not this rude with him. But I don't feel like to break up with him. In the first few months of our relationship, we had the best moments and he was always there for me. But then seems like I started avoiding him. But I never meant to. I always wanted to tell him about the book, but I didn't. The book is the reason I got this distracted. But when I think it through, it feels like it will be better if I broke up with him. Anyway, I was going to die. I had to talk to him one last time before I die. I decided to meet him this evening and tell him that this is not working. It would be so hard to do that. But I have to.

There was a message from Chloe.
Chloe- can v hangout today?
Me- No. I am gonna be with Lucas.
Chloe- I thought u guys broke up.
Me. - no v didn't but that is the reason I am going to
meet him.
Chloe - you can't break up with him.
Me. - I can and I am going to. Anyway, I am going to die.
I don't want him to be sad on the day of my death.
Chloe - but u don't have 2 do it.
Me. - I am not taking your opinion on this. Bye. gtg

_____________________

Well, I walked along the street and reached Lucas's house. I rang the doorbell. His mom opened the door. "Hey, Ciara. It's been so long since we talked. I don't see you around much nowadays."

"Actually, Mrs. Harding, it's really important that I talk to Lucas. Is he home?"

"Yeah. He is upstairs in his room. Get in." She said and gestured towards the staircase.

I knocked on his door. "What now, mom?" He shouted.

"Actually," I cleared my throat and started "It's me."

"Ciara?"

"Mind if I come in?" I asked.

I could feel his footsteps approaching and then he opened the door. "Come on in." He said smiling at me.

"Thanks," I replied. There was this tension between us. I don't know maybe it was because in a few minutes we are not gonna have a relation of a boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Make yourself comfortable. Sit down." He said narrowing his eyes towards the bed. He moved his stuff from the bed and made space for me.

I sat down, adjusted myself and started speaking after a really long moment of silence and tension. "We need to talk."

"I was thinking too. Let's talk, we don't talk much nowadays, what do we talk about, the weather or-"

"Lucas," I said cutting him off. "We need to talk ." I added pressure on the word 'talk'

"Are you?" He asked and stopped as he looked down.

"This is clearly not working Lucas. I cannot do anything about it."

"Breaking up with me?" He said completing the sentence he started before.

"If you put it that way, yes," I said and got up from his bed

"Is it because of me or have you lost interest in me?" He asked me.

I held his hand in mine "This has nothing to do with you. It's just that... I don't know what to say, I guess I could say that it is complicated. Anyway, goodbye, Lucas."

"Ciara." He said stepping closer to me.

"I gotta go Lucas. We are done. But don't forget I have always loved you and I will love you."

He didn't say anything. He just stared into my eyes with guilt and helplessness. I held back my tears. I turned my back at him so that even if that drop falls he wouldn't see it. I walked out of his room. And finally, when I was out of his house and down by the park, I cried all I wanted. I cried so hard like I have not done in years. After all this, I walked back home.

Once I was home, I realized that I had bigger things to cry over like the thought of me dying in three days. Actually two. This day is almost over. After crying for a little more while, I went down and had dinner with my family. Most probably, the last dinner I would get with them. I had to get a peaceful sleep because tomorrow I will be spending my night in a tent in the middle of the woods...