Chapter 11

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"Today we will be using these head devices," Allura said as she brandished a weird head piece thingey. I stared at it, my anxiety spiking. This is really bad. "They will scan your memories and find which of you is withholding emotional baggage that can cause dysfunction on the team." 

"Allura, I really don't think I should do this--" I started.

"Lance, please, if anyone here has anything to hide it's be Shiro," Keith scoffed. "Or me. Wasn't your life back on Earth perfect?"

"Keith the shit in my head could give you nightmares," I said through a clenched jaw. "Lord knows it gives them to me." I added under my breath.

"What?" 

"Nothing!" I said cheerfully, ignoring the looks I received from Shiro and Keith. They looked like they wanted to say something but I turned around, showing that I had no intention of listening to them. 

This is really bad.

If this device searches my memories it will find a lot of emotional baggage. I can't do this. I have to find some way to get out of this. Maybe I could fake a sickness? I cough loudly, hoping someone will come to my rescue and tell me to leave yet nothing happens. Dammit. 

"Now, please put these on," Allura said, handing everyone a head piece. I stared at it, my mind black. It's okay, I think, I just need to fake happiness. Isn't that what I usually do anyway? "Now, who'd like to go first?"

"Uh..I guess me?" Hunk says, sticking the head piece on. His ears are completely covered and I find myself laughing at the way he looks. "What?" Hunk asks.

"Buddy, you look so funny," I say with a laugh. Hunk glares at me but soon he's laughing too. 

"Now,"Allura says, reclaiming our attention. "The device will scan your memories and the rest of the team will see the things that teammates should know about each other."

"Isn't this kind of a breach of privacy?" I asked. "I mean, no offense guys, but some of the stuff in my head is private. I don't really want you to see--"

"--and that right there is why this is necessary." Allura interrupts. "Because you wish to keep secrets from your team." 

"Well it's not really secrets per say--" I start.

"What about whatever was on your arm?" Keith cuts in, raising an eyebrow speculatively. 

"That was one time, man," I say with an exaggerated sigh. "Give it a rest already. Damn."  Keith huffs but turns around to face Shiro. Shiro puts a hand on his shoulder and fight off a sting in my chest. I want that. 

No. I can't have that.

Focus on the problem at hand!

"Hunk, press the red button on the side of the device and we can begin," Allura says, ignoring my protests. Hunk sends one unhappy glance my way before he presses the button. A whirring sound fills the training room. 

Suddenly an image fills my mind. It's  Hunk, he's sitting next to me--wait I know this memory. 

Hunk was having an anxiety attack because he was afraid that he'd never see his mothers again. I was comforting him and he kept saying that he was fine yet I knew he was lying. 

Then, as suddenly as the image had appeared it was gone. I was back in the castle and above the headpiece was a light that said; 

Secret 12% Afraid to tell the team about his anxiety. 

Hunk looked down bashfully and his cheeks reddened. I cooed and raced to hug him. "Aw, Hunk, it's okay to have anxiety. We still love you and you're still the bravest man I've ever met."

"Thanks Lancey," Hunk says, wrapping his arms around me. 

"Yes, Lance is correct," Shiro says. "There is nothing wrong with having anxiety."

"Thanks Shiro," Hunk nods.

"Alright, Pidge, your turn." Allura says. Pidge shrugs and presses the button on the side. No image appears. Suddenly the headpiece beeps and words appear over her head.

No secrets. 

"Wow, didn't see that coming," I say with a laugh. "Next to me , I thought you'd have the most secrets on the team." I laugh. 

"What do you mean?" Keith asks. I freeze. Shit. Why do I always say those things? 

"Nothing," I say. "I have no secrets...hah...what a weird thing to say." Fuck, that just makes it even more obvious that I'm hiding something! Why am I so bad at this? 

"Well if that's the case, why don't you go next?" Allura asks. I look at her in surprise. 

"Hah, no I think maybe Keith wants to go," I turn and look at him. "Right Keith?"

"Nope, go on ahead Lance." Keith says, smiling at me smugly. I fight the urge to flip him off. Fuck you Keith. (I wouldn't mind doing it) NO LANCE! 

"Uh...I don't see a way out of this," I say, looking at Hunk for help. He shrugs. "Right, okay then. Here we go."

I press the button and wait.

The first image comes to my head and I seize in panic. It's her. No. 

"Pet?" she beckons. I watch myself stand up, my wings thankfully not visible but my wounds are. She cradles my face and looks at me with an expression of mock love. "I'm sorry to have made the dogs go after you. But you tried to escape again. Don't you get it? You belong to me." 

"I just want to go home," my younger self whimpers. She snarls and slaps me hard enough to send me to the ground.

"YOU WILL NEVER GO HOME! YOU ARE MINE!"

The image leaves my mind and I'm back at the castle staring at the horrified faces of Shiro and Keith. A whirring sound comes from the headpiece and words appear over my head. 

Secrets; 84% 

-Afraid to tell the team about depression

-Afraid to tell the team about PTSD

-Afraid to tell team about their animal

-Afraid to tell team about insecurities

Shiro looks at me like a fragile child. He opens his mouth to speak and I tense, waiting for whatever is to come. "Lance...what was that?"

"I...I didn't have the best childhood." I say. 

"Lance..."

Shiro is cut off with a loud alarm sounding all throughout the castle.

"The galra have found us." 

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