Abnormal {Book 1: Completed, Book 2: Ongoing}

Chapter 10

We continue to practice shooting with a few more different types of practice guns, each one heavier and more complex than the previous one. After practice, I am so exhausted that I collapse onto the floor, my elbows resting on the cold ground and my legs splayed in front of me. My white tank top is drenched with sweat, and I can feel it trickling down my back. However, Adrius doesn't seem tired at all. His breaths are long and even, and he stares at me with amusement. 

"If one practice session makes you this tired, how are you going to be able to go on a mission?"

My fatigue and his terrible attitude makes me extremely irritable. "Easy. I'm not going." I snap back. 

He sighs and sits down next to me, handing me a bottle of water. I gulp it down eagerly, until the bottle is empty and I glance at Adrius guiltily out of the corner of my eye. He chuckles, and I roll my eyes at him. He seems to find everything about me amusing. 

I wonder how he will find it amusing when I force him to...

I catch myself, fearing that I will accidentally control his mind without meaning to. I swear to myself that I will never wish harm on anyone ever again. My mind is a dangerous thing. My mind can kill. 

My thoughts wander back to my father in the simulation, and how he looked so small and hopeless. It was as if they took his soul and left a hollow shell behind, bound in rope and manacles. But that wasn't real,  I remind myself. It was only an illusion, the chemicals they injected into my eyeballs messing with my senses. My train of thought leads me back to the time when my family was murdered. I seem to think of that memory a lot these days. It's like I can't get it out of my mind. 

I remember eight year old me, scurrying upstairs like a frightened rabbit after my father told me to hide in my room. I really thought that I would die then, when I was in the closet and the soldier burst into my room. I willed myself to become smaller, to melt into the shadows, to disappear into the pile of clothes that was my only chance of survival. 

The soldiers never found me. It was as if I ran away and disappeared. But in my nightmares, they always caught me. They would drag me out of the house, kicking and sobbing and screaming, then into the back of the truck. Next, they would decide to kill me instead of taking me back to headquarters. Because I was way too dangerous, they would say. Because I was a threat to society, to the government. Because I'm not just a regular Abnormal, and I don't deserve to live. Then they would press a gun to my chest and stuff a gag into my mouth. One of the soldiers would lock my arms behind my back, and another soldier would turn off the safety. Click. 

And I would wake up screaming. Every. Single. Time. 

My thoughts float back again to my memory. The soldier opened the closet door and peered inside. I stopped breathing, squeezing my eyes shut. Then comes the part of my story that I had refused to acknowledge for many years. I threw it into a vault in the deepest, darkest part of my mind. Then I slammed it shut, locked it, and threw away the key. I had forced myself to forget about it so many times that when I think about that day, I subconsciously replace that part of the memory with something else. Something simpler. Easier to think about. But now, the memories comes flooding back. 

He had moved the pile of clothes aside, revealing my small frame. I had no choice but to look up. I remember that his eyes were the same shade as mine, a deep chocolate brown. He had started to open his mouth to yell when I became desperate, and my eyes begged for him to shut up, to turn away, to pretend that he had never saw me. My mind was in chaos, and I felt a strange, foreign presence in the back of my brain. The soldier's eyes glazed over. Please go away, please please please...my thoughts were everywhere, scattered around and unorganized. But somehow, he had obeyed my wishes. He had heard my pleas. I watched him as he stood up from his crouched position. Pivoted on his heel. He opened his mouth. "There's nobody in this room," he had yelled. Quietly, I closed the closet door, crawled beneath the pile of clothes again, and tried to cover myself up. My hands were shaking, my lip trembling with fear. Then I heard the gun shots. The screams. Then the front door slammed shut. 

And...that was the part that I refused to think about until I turned 12. I realized that someday, I would have to face my powers, that I might even have to use them to harm someone. To kill someone. And so I forced myself to think about that day, and what I did to that soldier. That was when I finally realized that it was the first time I had ever used my powers. And that I could control someone's mind by simply connecting my thoughts to theirs. I didn't even have to think about controlling them. I just had to do it.

"Lyanna? Lyanna, are you listening?" Adrius's voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to him, annoyed. "Sorry...what were you saying?"

"I said that it's lunchtime now and I'll see you in the afternoon practice session at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Is there something that's bothering you? You just...blanked out suddenly. Do you need me to walk you to the cafeteria? Do you..." I wave away his questions absentmindedly, and stand up, giving him a soft smile. 

"No, I'd rather not."

Adrius raises his eyebrows. Guess he's not used to being rejected. "Sure, uh...I'll just..."

"I'd like to spend some time in my room right now. Alone. I'll see you at practice."