Abnormal {Book 1: Completed, Book 2: Ongoing}

Chapter 2

Adrius's POV

8/21: I miss her. I really do. Last night I dreamed of her again. She was laughing as she pulled me to her room. But when we went inside, she fell silent. Then she grabbed my arm suddenly and turned my face towards her urgently. She wanted to tell me something. But then she disappeared, and I woke up.

I'm trying so hard not to be depressed. But it's just so hard. I can't even say her name. 

Sometimes, I wish I never fell in love with her in the first place.

I wonder if she's thinking about me. Or if she can't even think straight because she's in so much pain. Are they torturing her? Forcing her into experiments? Interrogating her? I have no idea what she's going through right now. That alone scares me. 

8/23: Why can't Heather just go away?! She comes over to me whenever I'm alone. It's as if she's tracking my schedule. She's such a crazy stalker ex. She even tried to come into my room. I think she's trying to get me to forget about...Lyanna. There. I said...or should I say, wrote her name. 

I actually feel better now.

I can hear someone knocking on my door again. I think it's Heather. I have to go.

8/24: I'm in a bad mood today. I don't know why. I don't have anything else to write.

8/26: I got 10 lashes today from my father. His reason of punishment was neglecting my duty. He said that I've been unfocused on my daily tasks for the past couple of weeks. My back really hurts. 

But I don't regret my choice at all.

He had given me two choices before punishing me. I could either chose to endure the lashes, or tell him that I didn't love...Lyanna anymore. That I would completely forget about her, and stop trying to find a way to bring her back. I almost chose the second option. Almost. I thought I could just lie to him about what I really felt. But then when I tried to speak, something felt stuck in my throat. It's as if my body is preventing me from saying anything that goes against my heart. 

I feel like crying now. I really should go to bed. I'll feel better in the morning.

8/27: I got into a fight today. With Daniel. I really wish it didn't happen. But I punched him first. 

During group practice, he told me that I should try to focus during training. He said that I should leave my sulking to after meals, in my own room instead of in front of everyone else. He said he's sick of my behavior. He told me to stop acting like a child.

That's when I punched him. Not because what he said was wrong. But because he was right.

I've been so withdrawn for the past couple of weeks. I ignored everyone. I've been a terrible person. Sometimes I can't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I've been eating one meal a day and not getting enough sleep. 

Now, it's time for all this to change.

8/29: I wish I had someone to talk to besides myself. But that might be too much to ask. As a general, I have no friends. Only acquaintances. 

I have no friends.

I need to make some.

8/31: I went to the weekly movie at the mall today, with Jace and a few of his friends. They're all in Level 2. I knew them well before I became a general.

The movie was called "Almost Love". It was about a teenage boy and girl that lived in a small town. A few months after they started dating, the boy was drafted into the military. It was compulsory national service for 5 years, so he had no choice. Sadly, they bid goodbye, and the girl swore to wait for him until he came back. 

During his time in the military, the boy performed miraculously well in almost everything. Within a few years, he rose from a private to a sergeant, then a sergeant major. Due to his success, his popularity rose within town, and many families offered for their daughters to marry him. The boy's parents decided on one of the girls, who was born in a rich family; unlike his original girlfriend, who was very poor. 

After the boy finished his five years of military service, he came back to his hometown. The first person he wanted to meet (besides his parents, of course), was his girlfriend. But after asking around in town, he discovered that she had already moved across the country to a big city. At the time, there was no way to contact someone without knowing their address, so in his grief, he retreated to his room and wallowed in his misery. He thought that he'd never see her again.

Three months later, he gradually accepted the fact that he would have to move on. So he agreed to marrying the rich family's daughter, and everyone was ecstatic. Wedding preparations were made, and within a few weeks, they were engaged, then married. 

But the next day, he heard that his old girlfriend had moved back to town. He was so shocked that he went to visit her immediately to find out the truth. She told him that she only moved away to attend her four years of college. They were both heartbroken, but he was already married. There was nothing they could do to change that fact.

At the end of the movie, the girl took off her earrings and gave it back to him. It was a gift he gave to her on her birthday, a few days before he joined the military. Face streaked with tears, she told him that she chose this pair of earrings today to surprise him. To let him know that she still remembered him and loved him. 

But she didn't realize that he would chose to move on to someone else, and that in the end, she wasn't worth waiting for.