Abnormal {Book 1: Completed, Book 2: Ongoing}

Chapter 22

We stare at each other across the large wooden table in the middle of his office. My fingers are tapping nervously on the surface of the table, and I keep crossing and uncrossing my legs, unable to make myself comfortable. At least during the practice sessions we had something to do. Now I have no idea what's going to happen.

I'm about to reach for the glass of water he's placed in front of me when he clears his throat. I freeze, bringing my hand back to my lap.

"So," he finally says. I swallow hard, ignoring the tightness in my throat. He leans forward, placing his elbows on the table, and I lean back automatically, pressing my spine against the back of the chair. He flinches, and hurt flashes in his eyes. "I promoted you," he continues. "Because I believe...I believe that you are special." He clears his throat again, his cheeks reddening.

I blink stupidly. "Spe...special?" I stutter out. I take a deep breath, and try again. "What do you mean, I'm special?" 

"Throughout my two years at TCD," he says. "I've rarely seen someone as talented as you are. Abnormals usually spend years trying to master their superpowers. You've only been here for a month, and you're already fully capable of controlling you abilities. I believe that you have the potential to rise up and become a general."

A general. 

I'll have battles to plan, troops to command. I'll be able to stand up to all those bullies like Heather and Tori. I'd be able to fight alongside the most powerful Abnormals in TCD. I might even be able to gain favor with the Commander. I...

"Lyanna?"

I raise my head, startled. "Hey, are you okay?" Adrius asks, with a concerned expression on his face. 

I shake my head, blushing. "What...no! I'm fine. I just..."

"Oh," he says. "I just saw you blank out for a second, and I thought..." He waves his hand, sighing. "Nevermind. As I was saying, I think that if you undergo the right training, it is highly possible that you will able to rise to level 3. I'm just giving a boost along the way." I nod, and he looks at me expectantly.

"Oh! Um...thank you." I say in a small voice, still flustered. I'm feeling so embarrassed that I want to leave as soon as possible. "So...am I free to go now?" I ask hesitantly, unable to meet his gaze.

He stares at me, visibly struggling to speak. "Do you...do you have anything else you want to say to me?" He chokes out. His whole body is tense, and I can see his hand shaking a bit as he runs it through his hair nervously.

"I...I...don't know," I stammer, tears welling up in my eyes. 

It's been so long since we actually had a real conversation. Every sentence exchanged between us seems to be so clipped, so emotionless. After the incident with Heather, I thought that I could survive without him. I thought I could just see him as an instructor, and nothing more. I don't need him to be my friend...right? I have other friends like Aveline, Everett, Valerie, even Adam. They've been so supportive ever since I came here. But Adrius...

He broke my heart. 

Even though he was never mine in the first place.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. His gaze meets mine for a brief moment, then he looks away, staring at the wall behind me. "I was drunk...and I wasn't thinking straight when Heather dragged me outside. I didn't realize what I was doing until..." his voice lowers to a whisper. "Until you showed up. When I saw you in the hallway, I just...I didn't know what to do. I had no way of explaining myself..."

I can't take it anymore. Before, I couldn't stand the silence between us. But now...I have no idea what I should say. I have no idea how I'm supposed to react. So I just shake my head silently, wiping away the tear that slid down my left cheek. 

"Lyanna...please," he says, his voice cracking. "I don't think I can go on...without you ever forgiving me for what I've done. God, it's just so hard to..." He squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them again. There are tears in his eyes. "You have no idea how hard it is to see you every day...and..."

I wave his words away, finally finding the courage to speak. "Adrius...sometimes I wish...that I had never seen you in the hallway. I wish that I could pretend...that things never happened."

He swallows hard and finally meets my gaze. "Me too," he whispers. "I wish..."

I cut him off. "Sometimes..." I trail off, tears falling freely down my face now. "Sometimes I wish...that I never had any feelings for you." 

Then I run towards the office door, pushing my way outside, and put my hand over my mouth to cover the sob that escapes my lips.