I'm one of those people who would be comforted if you just sat there, not saying a word. Just knowing you are there would be enough when I'm going through something rough. All I need to have a good time, is a friend. I'm one of those people who hides behind a wall, terrified of the real world, living in daydreams. I pretend to be someone else, waiting for someone to call me out on my bluff. I'm self-conscious and it gets out of hand. A lot. I let it shape me, change me, and direct me. I lie and say I'm OK, way too much. I think happiness doesn't exist for me. I wonder if I'm really worth it. I think I need to be somebody else, just to satisfy others. I pretend to be somebody I'm not.
I wasn't always like this.
I used to be the girl you think you know.
But I've changed on the inside.
I just don't want to show it on the outside. Afraid you'd think it was an act.
Afraid you would think the real me, was just a fake.
Was someone you didn't know.
Someone you couldn't ever think of the same way you thought of the me you used to know.
I just want to be loved for the real me, not the act I put on after I changed.
I want you to see the real me. But I'm too afraid to be her. I'm too afraid of judgment and what you might say. I'm too afraid of being rejected. So I'll continue to wear the mask. I'll continue to put on my show. But one of these days, I know I'll have to suck it up, and be the real me. Not the girl who puts on a show for everyone's entertainment; But the girl who is strong enough to change the script, be herself, and do what she wants to, not what everyone else wants or expects.
Now I don't want any comments denying anything I've said here. No matter what it is you want to deny. I don't even care if you want to say something about unicorns or something. Just no denial.
A/N The song to the side has nothing to do with anything here, I just like the song and I was listening to it while I was writing this.
P.S. Thank you for being there for me! I love you all!
YOU ARE READING
~My Thoughts~
Non-FictionThis is just somewhere I write things. I start thinking and then I start writing. It might be sad, it might be happy, or it it could be infuriating. A little birdy told me to open up a bit. So I will. To you.
