All Good Things Must End.

Chapter 4: Of Utmost Importance

Logan let out a heavy sigh as soon as he sank into his bed. For once in his life he was actually happy to be home (if you can even call it that). His day was long, each minute felt like an hour. He couldn't concentrate and it was all because of that damned boy he ran into in the hall. He had 3 other classes with him and in each he was distracted beyond belief.

The man was, and it surprised him to say, gorgeous. How he ran his fingers through his hair when he was annoyed, his laugh made him feel how he felt when he listened to Bach's Harpsichord concertos online, he was an enigma and all Logan wanted to do was peal back the walls he hid behind and see the beautiful man lying underneath. He couldn't believe his little rose would be able to be so mean, how someone so delicate looking could be so cruel.

He curled in on himself on his bed, he was smitten and it had only been one day. How was he going to survive a FULL year at LEAST with this kid constantly on his mind. He wished he could talk to someone, anyone about his problem, but he knew he had no one to go to. His parents never cared (hell, they were barely even home most of the time), he had no friends, he was alone, so utterly alone.

He stood up and walked downstairs. He lived in a large home, everything was beautiful and expertly placed yet it was always so empty in his mind. His mother was a doctor at the nearest hospital and his father taught at the college near by so they were never home. Just him and the cleaning lady that he rarely talked to. There was never enough designer furniture in the world to make this house feel full to him. It lacked what every home needed to truly be a home, love.

He opened the pantry and grabbed a can of raviolis. Since no one was ever home there never was any fresh food, this would mark the third time in a row that Logan ate canned raviolis. As soon as he moved out of this god forsaken house he vowed to never eat a single ravioli again. He went through his normal, boring routine with a numb look on his face. For one split second his face held a brighter tone as Logan thought he heard a car pull into the driveway but was disappointed as no one walked in the door.

He walked back up into his bedroom and sat down onto his bed. He looked down at the ground as he felt tears well up in his eyes. He often pondered why he was still alive. He was of no importance to anyone, he was a ghost even before he would have died. He wondered if his parents would even show up at his funeral, maybe his dad would have a seminar or his mom would get an emergency call and they would leave halfway through.

His mind wandered to the bridge a few blocks away. Drowning was supposed to be the best way to die, he had read that in almost every online article about the subject. He took a deep breath, was this really the right choice, would this be a mistake. No, he decided. It wouldn't be a mistake, it would be for the best.

 Logan put his shoes on and grabbed his jacket, he couldn't wait until winter ended. He was a little sad he wouldn't be able to see when the snow turned into spring. He made sure to lock the door behind him as he left. The wind messed up his hair but he didn't care at this point, his hair would be messed up anyway when he hit the water.

The bridge came into view and along with it an image of a boy looking over the railing. Logan's brow furrowed in confusion, guess he really wasn't alone. Logan walked up beside him and tapped his shoulder. It was the kid who sat next to him in Orchestra, P, Pa, Patton! That was his name!

"Oh! Hey Logan!" Patton said with a bright smile that just didn't reach his eyes. "Hello Patton, a fine night it is," Logan replied with a soft smile on his face, he was fine with his own suicide but he couldn't bare the thought of allowing this small innocent kid to die.

"What is it that you are doing out here Patton?" alarm flashed onto Patton's face but was immediately covered up with an awkward smile. "Just going for a walk, that's all" Patton would have fooled anyone else but Logan had been lying his whole life, he could tell that it was just a fib. "Patton, you don't have to lie to me. You don't have to tell me why but please don't lie to me," Patton looked down ashamed at Logan's words. "I-," Patton paused, "I was just thinking about something."

Logan stayed quiet as Patton fiddled with his grey gloves. "Its just-" he took a deep breath "I cant help but think that... that maybe I'm not good enough," Patton looked up and Logan noticed tears in his bright blue eyes. "That maybe... maybe this world would be better off... b-better off without me in it," Logan always thought he didn't have a heart, but at this moment he could feel it breaking.

"Oh Patton, That's not true. Today was terrible, utter chaos, and you were the best moment. You have such an amazing personality and passion to you, its beautiful," Patton started sobbing and he ran to Logan, he wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. He was short, the top of his head went to the center of Logan's chest, but he still clung onto Logan. Logan awkwardly stood there.

"Patton, what are you doing?" Logan asked confused, he hated not knowing something. "I'm hugging you, silly!" Patton said with a laugh. Logan looked at him blankly, "What is this... hug, that you are talking of?" A sad look appeared on Patton's face as he listened to Logan. "Lo, have you never been hugged before?" Patton asked slowly. Logan immediately felt colder as Patton let go of him.

"N-No, why do you ask?" Logan stuttered, Patton was going to hate him, how could he not, he was a freak, he was different. Patton had a look of concern on his face. "Lo, why were you out here tonight," that was the second time Patton had called him Lo. "Why do you keep calling me Lo, my name is Logan," Logan tried to divert the situation but it didn't work, Patton just stayed silent.

"I-I jus-" Logan felt like he couldn't say it out loud, like the words were caught in his throat. "I was... I..." his breathing started to get faster. His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. "I- I cant-" Logan's eyes were wide with terror. "Hey Lo, I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay. Can you do that?" Logan tried but all he could do was wheeze and gasp.

"Lo, can you hear me," Logan nodded his head. Patton smiled at him gently, his expression calmed Logan a bit but not enough to fully breathe again. "I want you to try and breathe in with me, okay?" Logan nodded his head and tried to follow along with Patton. Eventually he calmed down and was able to breathe again.

"You don't need to answer me, it's okay if you don't want to say," Patton said with a warm smile. Logan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Maybe he could respond if it felt like no one was there. "I- I was going to- I was going to jump," Logan looked up at Patton to see tears in his eyes once again. "Lo, can I please show you what a hug is?" Logan nodded at Patton's question and Patton stepped forward.

"First I want you to hold your arms out okay?" Logan nodded and did what he said. "Now I'm going to wrap my arms around you and I want you to do the same to me." Patton stepped forward once more and enveloped Logan in his arms. Logan copied Patton and found his head buried in the others hair. He smelt like cookies, vanilla, and how Logan envisioned home. He felt love for the boy, not in a romantic sense but like he was the father he had missed out on all those years.

Logan didn't know he was crying until he felt hot tears on his cheeks. "Hey Lo, how about we go somewhere else, I don't want to accidentally get caught in a snow storm." Patton released him from the hug and Logan immediately wanted him back in his arms. "We can go back to my place," Logan offered, "Its not like my parents will be there anyway." Logan said the last part of his sentence so casually Patton could feel the pain in his heart. Patton nodded and linked arms with Logan. "Alrighty, Lead the way!"
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Who's point of view should I do next, Patton or Roman?

Me @ myself: You should go to bed early.

Me 5 hours later working on a fanfiction: Oops...

Chapter wrap up:

Wow, don't I just love hurting my boys :). Logan has it HARD for Roman, Logan is also getting neglected by his family in this one. Patton shows up as he was about to kill himself by Logan who was also about to kill himself. Logan doesn't know what a hug is my poor boy.