Perdóname (Klance Angst)

8

A week had passed since Lance's family had been killed. The other teammates were slowly talking to Lance about the incident and Lance was slowly opening up. But the only person who knew the details about everything was Keith, and it would remain that way. From how much he cried, to his internal desires for killing Sendak, to how much he had wanted to kill himself; Keith was the only one that knew these things. As far as the team was concerned, Lance was now mentally stable.

Lance knew this was far from the truth, and so did Keith. When he didn't spend the night in Keith's arms, Lance would cry himself to sleep, guilty at his "shortcomings" no matter how much Keith and Shiro reassured him that he was not in the wrong. He didn't have suicidal tendencies anymore, he couldn't do that to Keith, but his thoughts were scrambled. He couldn't think straight anymore and when fighting with teammates in the training arena, he would do simple little mistakes when he was distracted, but when he fought against the guardian, he made it even farther than any on the team ever had, even with Keith's muscular tune-up. He did this late at night when no one would be watching.

Lance, whenever down though, often thought about Keith and realised how enamoured he was with him. From his muscles, to taller height, and his new scar, he felt like he was a different person, but still the same Keith he had started to love before Marmora. Lance was still trying to wrap his head around Keith being two years older than him now even though a week had only passed from Keith finding his mom to returning with Romelle. It was all still confusing to him. But what Lance did know was that Keith had matured, a lot, and that Lance felt like a child compared to him. He felt unworthy of being with Keith, and that Keith deserved better than him.

This last thought put him into a depression that caught him slightly off guard while he was fighting the guardian at level 52. He almost slipped up and let the guardian hit him, but he prevailed anyways. Lance did not continue to the next level but instead walked over to the wall where he placed his belongings and picked up a towel to wipe off his sweat. He then draped Keith's jacket over his bare shoulders, his shirt sleeveless. He had persisted that Keith take it back but Keith steadily refused, telling him that Lance should keep it as long as he liked. Lance returned to his room from his late-night secret training and changed into a pair of clean clothes he had brought back, keeping the jacket on though. He loved the sweet, woodsy smell of it that belonged to Keith. He slipped some earbuds in from his old house and played some Latin music he had downloaded to his device. It had taken him the week to finally open the files, the memories connected to the music too strong to bear in the past couple of days. He hadn't heard it in ages and also cried at the nostalgia of his favourite songs, mouthing the Spanish along with it.

This reminded Lance of the Keith's first Spanish lesson yesterday. Lance had taught him the basics, such as the alphabet and some numbers. Once Keith had written those down, Lance taught him the basic subjects, such as I, You, They, We and so on. Lance gave him two verbs to learn and their different endings in the present tense but stopped the lesson there, not wanting to overwhelm him even though he was a fast learner. Lance was so happy to jog his memory and use his native tongue. Keith turned out to be a flawless speaker, Lance only having to correct him a few times. Lance found out that he could indeed fall deeper in love with this man.

The memory made him smile through his tears as he removed the earbuds and settled in to fall asleep for the night. He still didn't understand why Keith liked him, why he dealt with him, why he said he loved him, why he comforted him, why he said he needed him, why he would ever want to be with Lance. Lance felt that he didn't deserve Keith, not in any instance or in any reality. Keith surely had someone better he could be with.

This weighed heavily on Lance's heart as he fell asleep, tiredness getting the best of him.

~~~