Octopus Lips

The Date to End All Dates

The aquarium was where we went on our first date.

I don't know if Gordon remembers it, but I certainly do. It was summer, we were surrounded on all sides by little whiny little kids and their exhausted parents. I had suggested we go somewhere different, less affronted by adolescents, as it would have been now that school was out. Gordon just looked me nervously in the eye and shyly insisted, I got the feeling he might have planned something and went along with it.

I remember pressing my face up against the cool blue glass of a fish tank as Gordon pointed to a crusty lichen covered rock. There was nothing extraordinary about said rock, it was about as boring as ocean rocks get. Then before my eyes, it moves, and the outline of an octopus peeled off the rocks like Command Hook and a whole rainbow of colors spiraled down it's body. I remember my eyes widening beyond belief and looking back at his sheepish smile. He wasn't staring at the octopus like everyone else was, he was staring at me.

"Reminded me of you." He said softly over ice-cream later that day.

"The... the octopus?" I laughed at him.

He nodded and grinned like he had the whole sun in his chest. "Your hair."

I remember blushing softly in the summer sun. Back then I had a few streaks of pink in my hair. Now I had just about every color. Gordon loved my hair. I loved Gordon.

That day felt like such a long time ago now.

After I parked my mom's car and walked over to the front of the aquarium I spotted him sitting at a table under an umbrella outside. My heart picked up its pace because I could tell something was wrong. His head was bent, his scruffy gold hair was unkempt, and when he looked up at me he had tear stains and red puffy eyes. I didn't say anything at first, I just hugged him. I had seen him just this morning, what could have happened between now and then?

I curled my fingers into the fabric of his shirt and wondered who hurt him and what was the best way to show up at their house in the middle of the night with a bat and a lighter.

"I'm sorry." He muttered into my shoulder.

"It's alright." My voice was no louder then a breeze rustling through grass.

"I..." He leaned back and started choking up again. "I haven't had a breakdown this bad since... what was it? About a year or so ago."

"Are you okay now?" I asked, string up at him.

Gordon pursed his lips and hesitated. The fact that he waited made my heat lurch in earnest. I brushed his scruffy locks out of his face, he was long overdue for a haircut. I looked into his eyes and tried to figure out what was going on in there. What was he trying to protect me from?

"I don't know, Gwen." He said softly. "I've... I've been seeing a therapist."

A cold fist tightened its grip around my heart. None of my friends had therapists, not that I knew of. Was it really something that bad? It scared me to think there was a monster curled up in his head that I couldn't fight. That we couldn't fight, together.

"Y-yeah?" I stammered.

"I don't understand what's going with me either." He wiped a tear from his cheek. "I just know I... I hate everything about my life, except you of course, and I don't know what to do with that feeling except drown it in... drown it..."

"You can tell me." I promised him.

"You're gonna get angry at me, Gwen." He laughed, but it was hollow. "I did something really bad. I messed up big time."

Gordon had switched from serious to almost amused and the whiplash had wrapped itself around my neck. He glanced up at my paper-white face and his dry amusement was cut off like he shoved in under a guillotine. He folded his hands, which were shaking ever so slightly.

"You should probably sit down." He swallowed, not meeting my eyes.

I did so, and just as he was about to open his mouth and give me the information I was so desperately wanting, another hand landed on his shoulder. It was a girl, maybe a familiar face from school. He shirt was slipping off her shoulder and she was wearing a good deal of makeup, those were the first things you noticed. She grinned at Gordon through slated eyes and I saw my boyfriend's eyes widen as his face turned the color of ash.

"Hey there Gee." She giggled, I realized she was very drunk. "Funny meeting you here in daylight, huh?"

"Gordon? Do you know her?" I asked, frowning.

Gordon stammered out something unintelligible as he pushed away the other girl who had leaned down dangerously close to his face. She jolted up when I spoke, like she had just figured out I existed. Then her face lit up again and she leaned heavily on our table, all her attention directed towards me.

"Oh, hello!" She laughed. "You picked up a pretty one tonight."

I locked eyes with Gordon. "What?"

"Do you see him often? Gordon and I haven't hooked up in weeks." She tapped his lips. "I miss you boo."

His fame was red with shame as he clenched his fists and didn't meet my eyes. My vision narrowed and all of a sudden it was just the two us, sitting here. All was quiet except for the roar of the silence surrounding us, and the pulsing red feeling of anger at the corners of my vision. My fingers curled in on my palms. Gordon was shriveling under the other girl's touch, folding in on himself, trying to escape this air and this life. We both knew he was trying to escape me.

Two years of nothing but love burned up faster than paper.

I stood up, Gordon winced.

"I can explain." He promised, grasping at anything he could do to make this look better.

"Can you?" I dared him.

He opened his mouth, then closed it. I thought so. I pressed my lips together and felt my heart pounding in my brain. I grabbed onto the lip of the table and shoved it over. It clattered to the ground and caused the crowds round us to glace over in shock. The girl was lying on the ground a few feet away, completely wrecked by her own intoxication. Gordon put his arms up in defense before I could slap him.

"Consider me a stranger, Gordon Jones, because obviously those are the types of girls you like." I screamed at him, before storming off.

There are tears streaming down my face before I reach the parking lot.