Octopus Lips

Teenagers

I really didn't think it would hurt so much. I woke up that next morning after Rosie walked me home. I had ended up passing out and skipping dinner anyway, Rosie must had explained what happened to my parents because they left me a note in the morning that told me to take it easy during the day and that they wanted to talk to me when they got home. I sighed, that was going to be fun.

I was caught up in two different worlds, the highs and lows of the high school years. They were wrapped around my arms and my feet pulling me apart like a medieval torture device. It was suffocating, like lemon flavored cotton candy. One minute I was laughing at midnight with my closest friend and the next I sobbing and throwing up onto the pavement because I just broke up with my boyfriend.

I remember the first time he said it.

It was five months into our relationship, nine thirty at night. The autumn air was thick with moisture and the leaves crunched under out feet like chocolate shavings on the worlds cake. I was staring out my window, watching the wind push everything around. My phone buzzed and Gordon was calling me.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much." I could hear him smiling.

"Yeah?" I leaned back against my headboard. "Any reason for calling?"

"Just wanted to here your voice."

I smiled into my hand. "Mm, is that so?"

"Yeah. I can't wait to see you again. You really are the prettiest girl in the whole world."

"Oh stop." I scoffed offhandedly. "You're making me blush."

"It's true. You're so incredibly terrifyingly beautiful." His voice is almost shaking. "You're like... like a goddess."

This was so cheesy. I felt like I was in a 90's sitcom, only there was no cord to curl my fingers around. Gordon was cheesy, I think that's one of the things I liked most about him. He was embarrassing but he wasn't embarrassed about it. It was a special kind of confidence that made him glow when he smiled.

"Stoooop," I laughed.

"I'm just like one of the humans compared to you."

"That's a lie, you can be a goddess too." I smirked.

He let out a sharp laugh. "Ha, I see how it is then."

We both giggled happily until we were breathless, until out lungs crinkled like fallen leaves under our euphoria.

"I love you." He said, after we calmed down slightly.

I paused, unsure of what I just heard. My heart skipped a beat, then picked up even faster then before until I had a heard of horses running through my chest. I opened my mouth and closed it a few times, completely caught off guard.

"I love you too."

I wish I could have seen his face.

Now my heart was cold and smooth, like stone. It hurt less and less on the way to school. I was a river stone, smooth and worn by life's water but hard, and unbreakable. You had fooled Gwen Degray once, you wouldn't be so lucky next time. I passed Johnny who looked up at me, and I didn't say a word. I didn't give him the privilege of even a glance. You had fooled Gwen Degray once, you wouldn't live to do it again.

"G-Gwen?" Rosie blinked at me when she met up with me in the hall.

"Yeah?" I tilted my head.