bruises || stylinson

0.4

Louis

After only five minutes on the phone with my father I realized that I was making a huge mistake. Not only was I trying to reason with him on a subject he hates talking about, but I'm also trying to get him to let me have a free day. The last time he actually let me do something was when I was six and the teacher was concerned that I wasn't going to any of the other students birthday parties.

I still remember the cake from the party, it had that chemical tasting blue frosting that's actually kind of gross. Yet in that moment there was nothing I would have rather been eating. 

The current situation feels like that, being with Harry is like the blue frosting. However if I stay it's like when you eat too much of that frosting, you end up throwing up. That happened to me, I ate so much that I ended up puking in their bushes.

Staying the night at Harry's tonight would lead to the equivalence of throwing up. After something so good you never want it again because it's attached to that negative memory. I'm actually surprised that my father didn't tell me to stay, he would want me to never come back.

For me however, nothing can ever be that simple. That's the exact reason that I bolted, I didn't want to face the consequences. As good as the free waffles sounded, staying in once piece sounded better.

So I escaped, I took those last ten minutes I told Harry that I would need as a way to give me a head start. Once Harry found that I was missing it would probably take him awhile to look for me, if he even chooses to look. Although that whole head start plan didn't go the way I expected it to. See getting in through the window was easy, but getting out of it is another story. 

The way that Melodie wrapped my wrist limits most of my range of motion, which made it nearly impossible to bend it in the way I need it to. Instead I had to try gripping the window another way and throwing myself into the tree. Earlier I could hop from it to the window, but I didn't calculate getting back to it. 

Needless to say I fell out of the window and twisted both of my ankles. 

If I wasn't having a perfect nice already that topped it off. I get to now walk I don't even know how many miles on an aching body because I'm not allowed to have a fucking sleepover. Plus I can't ask Harry for a ride because I don't want him to know where I live.

We would have to have known each other for probably a year before I ask for a ride home, I'm not the type of person to do that. Normally when I'm going to my house it isn't pleasant and I don't want anyone else to see that. 

I try to make sure that people see as much of the good as possible. That's why I tried making as many jokes as I possibly could around Harry. He was seeing me in a vulnerable and frankly unpleasant state and I didn't want him to keep that as his only memory for tonight.

That also accounts for the reason that I kissed his cheek. I am by no means someone who does that just for fun, it was mainly a cover up. I figure if he's straight it'll stun him and if he's gay he'll get the message that I think he's cute. 

I really just want to go back and lay in his bed, it was so comfy and now I'm in more pain than when I was there. I mean I know that I can't think like that when I have seven more miles to walk, but I guess I can use it as motivation.

I should really focus on how free I feel right now. Despite the fact that I want to curl up in a ball I like taking this walk. Every time I've ever walked home I get to see the world in a new way. I will never see these houses in the same way I have today, something will always be different.

It's cool how the world changes in such little ways. I could see the same place every single day and something will always be slightly different, probably to the point I won't even notice it.