The ghost of us

Unrequited Love?

I know that my jaw had to have hung open for a good five minutes before I could pull myself together again. I was hurting her by simply existing? How was that fair to her at all?

"Octavia, I-I had no idea you felt this way. I was too stuck in my own self loathing to really consider that. I just figured you had forgotten all about me when you met him. I thought you had no feelings left for me." I felt my hot tears brimming my eyes again, threatening to spill over; but actually I just wanted to reach out and brush hers from her red cheeks.

"You never asked, Scar. I tried so hard to forget you, and for a while I did. I wanted you to feel the way you made me feel, but that isn't why I got with Darwin. He really is great, but he isn't you. " She couldn't hardly look at me, and who could blame her? I wouldn't want to look at me either. I don't know what made me think that this hadn't affected her as well, if not more. I was selfish, and I was wrong in my own ways. What was I supposed to say to her to make her feel better? I honestly don't think there was anything I could say.

"I- I know. I never deserved you, not even a little bit. I was so mad at you for trying to find your own happiness without me and I'm so sorry Tavy. I'm so, so sorry. I never stopped loving you for a second. Not ever, not even a little bit." Suddenly her eyes met mine and then, her lips followed, crushing onto my plump and bitten ones.

I froze, trying to make sense of what was happening at that moment, and as soon as it started, my hands were grabbing her face, pulling her into me, drinking her in. She tasted like tears and coffee, like a freshly printed book, like home. She was my home and I never even knew it. All these years I felt something was missing, and then her lips met mine and the connection was made. She was the missing puzzle piece, she always had been, and I had to let her go. I had to let her go so she could marry this man that she loved. He was better for her than I was, but currently, all I could think of was her lips finally on mine.

I couldn't tell you how long we were there, our lips exploring one another's, but it wasn't long enough, but then again, would any amount of time be enough? Probably not. It seems as soon as it started, the kiss stopped and as we pulled apart, both of our breaths were labored. I looked at her and she looked at me for what seemed like hours but was only seconds.

"Scarlet.." Was all she said before softly kissing me again.

"Octavia.. I-" My head was spinning and the air was hot. I stood up suddenly and ran out of the coffee shop, tears falling from my eyes. I had just made her cheat on the man she was marrying. I ruined her life again and I couldn't handle that. I ran to the beach, which was man made and about 15 minutes from The Grove, and I just sat there, watching the waves crash around me, just like my life.