The ghost of us

Late Night Talks

Somehow we ended up at my small city apartment, soaked from the rain with stupid smiles plastered to our faces. We were sitting on my couch, wearing footy pajamas, and throwing popcorn at my television.  I can't really remember what was on TV, but I knew that it was the best thing I had ever watched, simply because it made her laugh, and to me that was the best thing in the world. 

I still couldn't exactly wrap my head around her being here with me, but I also didn't want to waste my precious time with her overthinking, so I succumbed to the beat of her heart making me smile.  Her hands were tangled in mine as I laid on her chest listening to the soothing sounds of her breathing. It was intoxicating, every piece of her; the way she smelled, the way she smiled, the way she looked at me. I was so enticed by her that I couldn't stop staring. Sure, it was probably creepy, but who cares. In that moment it was just me and her, something I had been dreaming of since I was 13 years old. This was perfection, she was immaculate and I didn't want this to end. 

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She was snuggled up under my Hufflepuff blanket, watching the goblet of fire while I was making us popcorn. I glanced through my kitchen awning and saw her smile before moving the blanket to just under her nose while she leaned closer to the television. None of this seemed possible. I never wanted tonight to end, but I knew that come tomorrow morning, she would be gone again and I would lose her forever. 

I knew better than to think that she would leave him and her whole life for me, but fuck if I didn't wish she would. Beggars can't be choosers though I suppose, so at least I still had this. This single night with her, something I had cried, screamed, and prayed for, for years was finally happening. I couldn't shake the hole in the pit of my stomach because I knew she would soon leave and this would all be a bitter-sweet memory, but right now? Right now, I bring her popcorn and all the love in my heart. 

The movie ended about 20ish minutes ago, so we just sat on my back balcony and talked. We talked about life, other universes, our memories together, sex, science, astrology, Harry Potter, coffee; which we were also drinking-never mind the fact that it was already ten o'clock at night. I was so drunk off of her that I wrapped myself up in her every syllable. I watched the way her lips moved softly and how they curved when she spoke, the way her hands played with the sleeves of the sweater I let her wear. Everything about her was memorizing. 

"Hello? Earth to Scarlet?" She giggled timidly as she waved a clothed hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my trance.

"S-sorry, I got distracted. But I don't know, I still think I'm your huffle-buddy." My cheeks were hot as I tried to pick up where the conversation had left off. 

"Where are you right now?" Her eyes searched mine for an answer that I didn't know how to give. 

"Right here?" I knew she wouldn't buy it, but I tried to play dumb.

"Scar, you know what I'm asking." She was stern and concerned.

"Just day dreaming I guess. Studying you." I trailed off, looking at my hands.

"What do you mean?" She wrapped my blanket snugly around her and shifted so she had one leg on the chair and the other leg bent upwards, holding her knee.

"I'm just drinking you in I guess. Studying your face, movements. Trying to memorize everything about you and this night so that when you leave me again.. I'll at least have this to hold on to." I sighed, scratching my arm nervously as I crossed my legs Indian style in my chair.

The stars were out tonight, and they were shining almost as bright as her hazel eyes. My red hair was in a messy bun and her pale blue hair was in a ponytail. She didn't wear any makeup and she was still breath-taking. It was silent for a few moments, but it wasn't awkward, it was surreal, peaceful. 

"I'm not just going to leave again.." Her voice was fragile and soft like a whisper.

"Yes you are, you have a whole life waiting for you." I sighed, defeated.

I heard her shuffle, but I was too busy staring at the moon to realize that she was now in front of me, that is until she straddled me, placing both her hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look into those gorgeous eyes.

"Shut up and kiss me, okay?"

 I don't know where her confidence came from, but oh my god did she wear it well. I did as I was told and leaned up, parting my lips slightly for her, waiting for our lips to finally meet. 

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The kiss quickly heated up into frantic and desperate touching and labored breathing. I picked her up and wrapped her legs around my waist so I could carry her inside my cozy little apartment. The apartment that for one night, wasn't just mine, but ours. 

Her hands grasped my hair, pulling me closer, her lips engulfing mine in whatever way she needed as my hands rested right under her thighs. Eventually we made it into my room, the same room I had dreamed of this moment in for years, and tonight, I was finally laying her down in my bed. 

Her fists tangled in my hair as I laid on top of her, slowly kissing down her pale neck, feeling her pulse under my hot lips. My hands trailed shakily down her torso to the hem of her shirt, where I paused, my breathing forced and nervous. I looked into her hazel eyes for any sign of hesitation, but instead was met with a passionate nod and eyes fueled with desire. 

This was it- She was mine tonight. Tonight I would finally taste every drop of the love we never finished.