Jar of memories

Chapter Twenty-Two:

Chapter Twenty-Two:

Two weeks later

“I miss you dad” I whispered running my hand on the words written on the grave stone, as tears fell from my face on it taking down on their way the dust that collected on it’s surface.

“My life is a big mess and I don’t know what to do dad” I said in a low voice now kneeling down and feeling the soil with my bare hands. I raised a handful up to my mouth and kissed it. More tears fell down as I breathed in what seemed like the smell of home and the only person that made me feel like I was home was now gone.

Images from the night his body was brought or better say parts of his body crept into my mind sending chills down my spine, If it wasn’t for his nose and moustache I wouldn’t have recognized him at all. He was filled with blood and half his features were peeled off. His hair was burned and his ears were chopped off. I pressed my lips together in attempt to stop myself from screaming. I wanted to let out all the angriness inside of me but not here. Not in a place like this where I would disturb my dad’s peace.

“I got you these dad” I smiled weakly as I pulled out the old flowers from my last visit and replaced them with the new lilies that I got. I brushed my hair out of my face and sat down cross legged opposite to the grave stone.

“Dad you are the only one after god that knows how much I’m suffering. I wish I could tell mom sometimes but she had changed totally since you’ve been gone. I wish that I got to talk to you before you left, I wish I could- ”

I broke off my sentence with more tears rushing down my eyes. I hid my face behind my hands and cried for what seemed like few minutes before I whispered hoping tears would stop interrupting me for a second:

“I wish I told you how much I loved you dad, you meant the world to me but now I’m not even sure you can hear it, and if you do, know that I’ll never forget you ever and no one, not even mom can replace the huge room you own in my heart.”

I rubbed away the falling tears as I got up and took a deep shaky breath. I smiled at him believing that he was there smiling back at me:

“I love you dad and I’m sorry for not being able to be the daughter you have wanted me to be. I’m sorry for coming here just to share my problems with you but I can’t help it. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

I shut my eyes then crouched for a second on the right side of his grave and said:

“I’ve got some happy news though you know. I’m in love now with a guy who cares about me and really loves me back. I hope this makes you happy” I rubbed the soil one more time, feeling my cheeks burn with the heat as I got up. “I have to go now but I will think of you all the way home” I smiled as I blew him one last kiss before heading out of the cemetery but just when I was about to leave, I spotted a familiar body from behind standing next to a grave. I stepped closer and stared at that familiar ass and muscles.

I was so close now but I stood behind a tree just in case he didn’t want to see anyone yet. I waited for several minutes before he was done and just as he turned around his eyes widened with shock to see me. I smirked loving the feeling then said: “Hello stranger”

He smiled back his eyes sparkling with happiness as he fixed them on me. Suddenly I remembered that I still had tears on my face and rubbed them immediately not leaving a single trace.

He was watching every move with a worried look on his face, I smiled reassuringly as he stepped closer towards me. I remembered that I was only allowed to shake his hand so that I won’t feel that attraction again now that I have a boyfriend. I prayed deep inside of me that I got over him, now scared it was coming to practical.