Caffeine [July Nanowrimo]

one; beginning

I shuffled my feet and my head hung low as my mother berated on and on about my “atrocious attire” to father’s charity gala.

“Honestly, Rayla. Wearing that horrendous long sleeved gown with flats? Surely you have more sense than that!”

In my defense, it was freezing cold outside and the heaters inside the hall were practically useless. It’s beyond me how most of the women could wear short dresses in that temperature.

Of course, if I ever dared to say that to her, she’d probably go on a rant on how she could wear a sleeveless gown even if we were in Antartica.

Instead, I opted to just nod my head and politely apologize in a clear voice.

She went on for another few more minutes before letting a disappointed sigh. Her eyes gave me a reprimanding stare and a heavy feeling weighed on me. A twinge of guilt made its way and my head hung even lower in shame. I didn’t mean to embarrass here in front of her friends, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t die of hypothermia.

I turned around and made my to the kitchen before remembering something I had wanted to ask them all day. I lingered in my place for a while, weighing down the pros and cons of my question. Deciding that it was worth the risk, I walked to my father who was loosening his tie at the living hall.

“Um, father, mother?” Father raised an eyebrow and looked at me questioningly, exhaustion circling his eyes. I felt bad for him and for a second, I wanted to just keep my mouth shut.

“Do we have any events this Wednesday?” I looked up straight to him as I spoke and tried my best to show no hint of how afraid I was of the answer.

Both of them stiffened slightly in their place for a brief moment before my father spoke up in his booming voice.

“Yes. Wednesday is going to be packed. I have an opening to go to the next town over, lunch with Mr. Mormont, a high tea for the new launch at Hillhigh and dinner with some government officials,” he rattled off, unaware of the fact that my heart broke bit by bit with every word.

It was like he didn’t care at all.

My heart was aching at his words and I felt resentment course through. I shifted my eyes to the ground for a second before I looked up to his eyes once again and was reminded of his tiring day. I swallowed down my unhappiness and protests at the sight. The guilt I felt before washed over me once again, this time tenfold.

It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just busy. Elections are so close and he can’t afford to lose. He’s probably feeling really guilty right now.

I reassured myself with these words; after all, he is my father.

My thoughts kept reprimanding me as I bid him goodnight and made my way to my room. I was dying to just change into baggy clothing and get out of these congesting party clothes. The day had been particularly exhausting and since I did not get my usual dosage of caffeine today, it was even worse. Without my coffee, I tend to get antisocial. Unfortunately, with all the events today, that was clearly not an option.

Although right now, I was just looking forward to crash into bed and sleep away the aching pain.

-

My eyes squinted as I read the time on my phone.

One thirty a.m.

Groaning mentally, I stifled an exasperated sigh into my pillow before slamming my head down on it. I blew my hay colored hair out of my sight and my eyes wandered around the barely lit room. I was having one of my usual cravings and unsurprisingly, this time, it was coffee.