Have Faith!

It can't be!

For the next couple of weeks, I pretty much had the same routine. I mean we literally could not do anything, but I made the best of it. I was just excited we could order breakfast, lunch and dinner! When your pregnant all you think about is food lol food was my life. I would ask Tj what he wanted to eat or what sounds good and he always came up with something!

My aunt Brenda came in and sat with us. She said we needed to have a day where we just needed to rest. Between the nurses coming in every other hour and the housekeeping and whoever else popped up, she was right I really only slept at night time. She came in and turned the TV off. She put on classical music and I was out. I needed that rest. I love all types of music if it speaks to me I will listen to it. I never really been the type to listen to classical music, but Im not going to lie that actually calmed my nerves. It was a small getaway for me. I was constantly thinking about what if just incase something happened. It was actually good to just sit there and rest and not have to explain myself over and over again to people who did get in on the action. I know we were just laying there but truth be told it really honestly is exhausting. Your resting, yet you're not really resting. I was constantly on guard. I stayed having to make a decision. Im thinking not just for me but for my son as well. Not to mention bed rest by itself is torture! Stuck in the same room day in day out. Watching the same show, you know times are hard when you know what time it is by the show that comes on. You can't get up to use the bathroom. I did personal hygenie in the bed. Im not complaining but that was my life.

My Dr came in and told me he was going out of town for the weekend and that he would be back on monday. He wanted to check on us and see us before he left, and as usual I had no fever Tj was fine and so was I. I just finished eating dinner. I was extra full this time though. I started leaving more and more food on my plate. The stool softners pills they gave me were not helping. I dont know if my body got immune to taking 12 pills a day, but when my stool started smelling like pills just looking at pills made me sick... Til this day I still get nauseous taking pills!

Later that night, I had a bowel movement. I felt so relieved it wasn't even funny. I'm an athletic person I'm ALWAYS working out and moving around. Being on bedrest and not moving around was new to my body, thats why I was so constipated. (sorry if its tmi) The bowel movement was good and bad all at the same time, because although I was relieved it broke my water!!!!!!

Talk about your heart falling out of your chest, mines was on the floor broke. I had no idea how fragile my body was until just then. Any sudden movement was critical. After my water broke, I contacted the nurse. She came in and placed the monitor on my little stomach to check on lil man. Him was still moving around. I was relieved to hear that. For some reason I had it in my head that just maybe if I drunk so much water, it would help him out. My mom was checking on the monitor of coarse I told her as soon as she came in. I was so paranoid. I laid in bed and crossed my legs. I was scared that any movement would make him come out.

The next morning a different dr came in. He heard about what happened and ordered two rounds of steriod shots just incase Tj came, his lungs would be somewhat together. Im not afraid of needles or getting shots. When he explained to me what was about to happen I was ready. The nurse came in with two syringes full of steriods. Im not gonna lie those needles were HUGE. I gulped and asked her where was I getting the shot? "In your bottom" she said. "Okay do it" I said. Instead of just thinking about it I just had to boss up and do it. I must admit as big as that needle was the shot didn't even hurt! Im not sure if it was adrenaline or the fact that I actually didn't feel it but it really was not as bad as it seemed.

Later that night, the nurse came to check him. She placed the monitor strips around me. My stomach was already flat, but since my water broke I didn't even look one bit of pregnant. After waiting for a couple of minutes, the nurse said "I don't know Tia I think he's gone" I frowned up I told her my son is not dead I can feel him. She insisted on arguing with me, what she failed to realize is when my water broke the umbilical cord was making its way out was sitting right in the vaginal canal, so I could feel my baby's heartbeat that way. The nurse wasn't satisfied with what I was telling her so she ordered an ultrasound.....