Smile

15

I think my parents

finally understood

that it wasn’t okay

to just ignore me.

My mom was crying at my bedside

when I woke up.

I pretended I was asleep,

and just listened to her sob,

and whisper

“I’m

sorry!

I’m so

sorry,

Daiah.”

My dad came in later.

He didn’t say a word to me.

He just held my hand,

and had his head ducked down

while he glared at the floor.

I think he was angry at himself.

 

He should be.

 

I couldn’t stop the train of thought,

couldn’t stop the blame.

It was all their fault!

I wouldn’t be like this

if they’d just tried to talk to me,

to see if I was okay,

if they cared.

But they were both

too busy with their jobs

to even see me.

No parent should ever do that

to their child.

 

Delilah came in,

and it caught me off guard

so I couldn’t act

like I was asleep.

I stared at the walls

when she sat down in the seat

by my bed.

I heard her gulp

before speaking to me.

“I know

you don’t think I care about you,

and that you think

Mom and Dad

don’t care about you.

You’re wrong,

you know that?

I care about you.

Ingrid cares about you.

Hell,

even Shane cares about you,”

 

She started to cry.

 

“But what you didn’t even realize

is that I’m Mom and Dad’s daughter too.

They haven’t just ignored you,

and abandoned

you.

They abandoned me too.

Why do you think I was constantly

at my friends house?

Because I didn’t care about you?

No!

I didn’t want to be home alone

in that big empty house.

Sure,

you were there,

but if I was there

alone with you,

I would’ve thought

about Mom and Dad.

And that house

isn’t even home.

Its just a house

that we live in

because of Dad’s promotion.

So don’t you even think about

saying I don’t care.

I do.

So stop being selfish,

and acting like nobody cares about you

to get Mom and Dad’s attention.

Because right now,

they are about to give you

a hell of a lot of attention,

and ignore me.

These next few months or years or whatever,

are going to be about you,

So just stop.”

 

I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

I tried to say something,

but nothing came out.

She stared at me,

waiting for me to do something,

but I couldn’t.

So she stood up,

and left the room,

slamming the door behind her.