Alive Again

Chapter 16

**Josh's P.O.V**

"Grace! Grace! No..no..I love you! Please!" I yelled as tears streamed down my face and Grace's eyes fluttered shut.

She can't die. She's my life. There's no point in living without her.

"I'm afraid you'll have to go." the paramedic said to me.

There was no way in hell I was leaving.

"No..I can't...please...." I said crying some more.

"Are you a family member?" the paramedic said.

"No! I'm her fiancé...we were planning to get married soon." I said attempting to control the tears but they still lingered in the corner of my eyes.

The paramedic nodded and without another word the ambulance doors were shut and we started driving to the hospital.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling. She has to be okay. I've ruined her life. If I hadn't bumped into her and started shamelessly flirting with her that first day of school, she'd probably be with someone better for her. Better looking, smarter, better life goals, that has no crazy ex trying to kill her. I stared down at my wrists. Maybe the dreams really did mean something, maybe it's time for me to leave. Not just Vancouver, this world.

As the suicidal thoughts came rushing back to me, the ambulance hauled to a stop. Grace was suddenly rushed to the ER.

What had I done to her? This poor innocent girl had done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve any of this. If I hadn't come on so strong that first day, she'd probably still be happy, and alive for that matter.

I slowly walked to the waiting room and sat down. If Amanda hadn't shot her, she'd probably have a better chance of living than now.

Why couldn't I have been shot? Why couldn't it be me dying in there right now? My body began to shake as I silently cried to myself. I felt alone in the world again.

Suddenly, I felt little hands wrap around my quivering hands. I looked up to stare at the child.

"What's wrong?" the little boy questioned.

"Have you ever...lost something you loved?" I said controlling my tears.

The child nodded.

Surely they probably meant a toy or book or something.

He looked up at me.

"Mr...don't cry...she's in a better place now." the child said to comfort me.

How did he know?

"Your ring...you lost your wife?"

I shrugged,"I don't know...we were supposed to get married soon...but now...she might be gone.."

Why was I telling all of this to a child? He didn't know what it felt like.

"Just don't worry about it kid.." I said trying to get him away from me.

"I lost my mommy to cancer last year." the small child said.

I looked up, regretting my last thoughts.

"My daddy, he's very sick the doctor says if he doesn't get better soon..he's going up there to join mommy." he said.

I listened to him.

"In paradise..." he continued smiling up at me.

How could this child be so okay with the idea of his parents being gone?

"Don't worry Mr. She'll be in paradise. Where there's no violence or wars. Only love. God will take care of her." the child continued.

I looked up at the child as he pulled me in for a hug. I hugged him back as his tiny little arms struggled to wrap around my body.