The Adventures of Macy and Travis

Hospital Visits and Letters

   "I'm worried about you, Macy. I can hear you crying every night." Rachel said quietly. "Can't you just make up with him?" I shook my head.

                "He lied to my face, he got drunk and he called me a bitch." My voice cracked as I continued. "I miss him so much, but he needs to apologize or something. He just let me leave, he didn't even try to stop me." A tear fell down my cheek.

                        "Mace, Travis isn't just gonna hold you down and not let you leave. He's not gonna shower you in kisses and tell you about how sorry he is. I don't know anything about him but I know that's not gonna happen. That's not how reality works. You are in love with him. You miss him, and if you want him back you are going to have to march right up to him and you are going to have to tell him all these things that you are thinking. You can't just sit here, and cry yourself to sleep every night for two weeks and expect him to burst through the door. This is probably the longest he has ever been without you, and he's hurting too. If you want him, if you want an apology, you will have to go get it." Rachel finished with my reality check but I wasn't ready to do anything but get out of bed and actually do something today.

                I had been staying in bed all day long until I had to go to work. I had to pick up stuff for college yesterday, which starts in a week.

        "I'm going to go see his dad." I said quietly. It was my responsibility. I didn't owe it to that asshole but I owed it to Travis.

                I pulled up in front of the hospital and went in the electric doors. "Jerry Hart." I said to the receptionist.

                        "Room 234. Do you want someone to be in there with you?" She asked concerned.

        I shook my head. "Is his son in there?"

                        "No, Ma'am. He left to get coffee about 2 minutes before you pulled in." I nodded.

                "Thank you." I walked slowly to his room. I hadn't ever really been close to his Dad like I was his mom. Simply because of how big of a douche he was.

                        I walked in and he looked terrible. There was oxygen up his nose and he was coughing.

        "Macy White. I haven't seen you since you were 14 years old." His voice was scratchy and he needed some water.

                He took  a drink and I nodded. "I heard you got yourself in too deep this time, Mr. Hart."

                        "Oh, man. That's what they are saying. I will go out on my own terms. I suppose it's been a little over two weeks since I've been put in here and I'm just as bad as I was the first day. You and Travis into it?" He asked.

               "Why?" I asked suspiciously.

                        "Damn boy is in here every day. Got eye bags so dark and he looks sicker than me. Only a woman can make a man look as bad as he does." I looked at him confused.

                "Maybe he's upset cause you're in here?" I asked.

        "I'm sick not stupid. You and I both know it'd be better for him and his mama if I just croaked." He laughed darkly.

                I nodded slightly confused as how he thought this was amusing. "He'll turn out just like me. You're lucky you aren't in his life anymore. He'll beat who every he's with and that whiskey will surely get him like the drugs got me." He laughed at the thought.

                I smiled. "You think you know a lot about Travis, but you don't know a thing. I didn't come here for you, I came here for him. He knows how big of an ass you are, he'd never turn out like you." I stood up, ready to go.

                        "Macy, I know that you're in love with him. You shouldn't fall for someone that's as messed up as him."

        "It's too late." I said quietly.

        I drove to the old fallen down barn and I marched right down the dirt road into the door. I didn't even slow down as I picked up the old mason jar. I opened it up and pulled out the letter that read "To: Mace." In Travis's 12 year old handwriting. I dusted it off carefully and flopped down on the dirt beside it.

        

        Dear Mace,

                You wanted to do this and it's dumb. I don't even know what we are supposed to write. Should I write about you and how in 6 or 7 years we will both be setting off to college? It seems impossibly far away, but Mama always says that time flies by quicker than we can imagine.

        Today we were kicking that ratty old volley ball around. All your cousins and my cousins came over and we had a poor game of  soccer with a volley ball. Your hair was in a braid and it was falling down when you kicked the ball to me. You looked so pretty, and I had a weird feeling in my stomach when you began talking to Johnny. I asked Mom about it before I wrote this and she told me it was jealousy. I don't like being jealous and I wish you'd quit making me feel that way.

         Dad hit mom again and there was nothing I could do. I don't tell you about every time he does because you are always wanting to keep me forever. You said your dad never hits your mama so I don't understand what's up with mine. She cries all the time and not even my hugs can make her stop.

                By the time we're up in college I wonder if you and I will be boyfriend and girlfriend or if you'll already be married to the boy of your dreams. It will probably be ole Johnny, he was your first kiss and everything. I got that weird feeling in my stomach again when you told me about it and I got mad too. I didn't tell you cause I knew you'd be mad at me but I went and punched my cousin Johnny in the nose. It bled and bled and he wouldn't talk to me for a week. Today was the first time since then and he was still mad.

                If we aren't friends when you read this letter, I'm sure I was the one to mess it up. Mom said there would be a day when I think girls aren't gross. I never thought you was gross. I'll talk to you later, Mace.

                        Travis.

        I sniffled and wiped my eyes. When we were twelve everything wasn't so complicated.

                I went back to Isaiah and Rachel's. I am sure I had wore out my welcome here since two weeks is a long time, but they never complained. I laid in the spare bedroom and snuggled up in the cover. I stuck the letter in my bag safely, and I cried myself to sleep again.