the scientist // billy hargrove

N i n e

Warning: self harm scars and abuse scars, don't read if it triggers you, please.

Screaming. Crying. Thrashing. Shivering. Cold. Rain pouring. Don't leave me! El! Come back! No! More crying. Sobbing. Dead. Gone. Hugs. Black. Loneliness. Crying. Sacrifice. Gone. Black.

"Hey," Billy grumbled. He shook the girl who was crying and squirming in her sleep. "Baby, wake up." More thrashing. Billy sat up and pulled her on top of him, stroking her hair. She stiffened and woke up. "You alright?" Jade pulled her legs close to her causing Billy to stretch his legs out more for her to fit. She put her cheek on his collarbone and her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and she moved one of her hands down his warm torso, resting it on his stomach.

At three in the morning they decided to get a hotel room to sleep. Billy had taken off his clothes except his underwear while Jade removed all of her clothes except her shirt and underwear. Billy pulled the blankets back over them and kissed her forehead.

"You alright?"

"No... and I don't think I ever have been."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to show you something." Jade sat up and tied her hair into a messy bun. She untied the bandana on her wrist and took off her shirt. Billy reached out and touched one of many scars on the back of her shoulders, where her hair was covering it before. Jade had her hands covering her breasts and took a deep breath. She turned towards him and showed him her wrist, still covering her chest protectively. He looked down at her wrist and back up to Jade, shivering with her eyes squeezed shut. He put his hand on her self harm scars which made her flinch. He leaned down and kissed each one he found.

"Don't, please. Don't romanticize something horrible. It hurts enough as it is."

"I wasn't. You needed to feel something good for once." Jade took another breath and opened her eyes to see Billy looking at her with something she'd never seen before from anyone but El.

"Close your eyes, please." He closed his eyes and she took his hand, putting it on her chest. She looked down and moved his hand across a bite scar and burn scars under her breasts and at the top of her stomach. She looked up and Billy was studying her chest but not with lust, he looked angry. The same thing happened to Eleven when she walked in on Jade showering. "I, uh, I had a really bad ex and he, uh, he had these kinks for pain and, uh, he's... gone now."

Eleven had went looking for the current boyfriend of Jade and hospitalized him. She didn't want Jade to be hurt anymore and had helped Jade with treating the scars. Patrick was his name. He got sent home a month ago and hasn't left from what she's heard due to broken ribs and a broken neck.

"He did this to you?"

"He'd, uh, whip me and use matches and stuff like that and he bit me really hard one time to, uh, mark me in a sense." Jade put her arms back over her chest but Billy pulled them away and traced his fingers over the scars. He then gently grabbed her wrist and traced those scars.

"Was there anything he called you," Billy looked up at Jade, "that you don't want me calling you?" Jade sniffed and wiped her eyes. No one ever cared or knew before except Eleven.

"Babygirl. He would always call me his babygirl," her voice cracked and she put her face into her hands. Billy moved her hands and wiped away her tears.

"You're safe, as long as you're with me. I'll never let anyone hurt you, Jade." She nodded and he kissed her lips, laying her down on the bed. He pulled her into his arms and they fell asleep together.