Integration

o n e | first encounter

Many often speak very ill of modesty, deeming it one of the worst virtues to have; it leads one to a life filled with mediocrity, always destined to be second place to someone less endearing.

But─what is it called when someone acts not out of kindness, but belief? Belief that their life is justly second to another, to many. Is that truly modesty─or is it something else? Something more?

There stands only a single mirror in my house; it is in the shop downstairs. I often peer out of it at the first of every month, early into the morning, before anyone can bother me.

I stare out that window and bring the lukewarm mug to my lips, sipping. The bitterness overwhelms my taste buds, a jolt that quickly washes away the pleasing drowsiness; my eyes focus onto the world beyond the glass, the hundreds of faces I'd never get the chance to meet or know. I prefer it that way.

Soon, those very eyes focus onto the glass, not the people─onto my reflection.

The thin, freckled face, dark eyes and tousled red hair; my appearance hasn't changed one bit, no matter how desperately I wish it would, no matter how much I long to forget.

My legs swiftly carry me behind the counter upon discovering my first two customers in the distance, where I give a flick to the switch and watch the shop transform into what it is best known for; an outdoor paradise. Of course, it is only a fabrication made by technology. From the delicate, hand-crafted bamboo booths to the sparkling grains of golden sand and the vast ocean's soft whisper─all of it is a lie.

Real water died out many years ago, as did all the Earth's natural vegetation. We manage thanks to artificial preservatives and atmospheric devices─to technology. But the Earth is rapidly dying. Everyone knows it.

I watch the couple rush inside and greet them with a smile. I note how professional they appear and kind they seem, fetching their menus once they're properly seated. They order without hesitation; I brew their coffees, then place the mugs on their table shortly after. Their grins alert me to a job well done.

"That was just what I needed," says the man when he finishes. He eyes me warmly, his grin never fading. "I have to admit, when I saw that a kid was making our coffee I wasn't all too thrilled. You proved me wrong."

"Glad to hear you enjoyed it."

"Enjoyed it? I loved it! I know coffee shop owners at least sixty years ahead of you who can't match your skill! What's your secret?"

There's a short silence between us, then I reply with apology, "I hate to disappoint you, but there isn't one. I was not allowed to live in luxury growing up, which is why I was forced into doing a lot of things by hand. I guess it grew on me."

People have become primarily dependent on machines for survival, from doing daily mundane tasks such as laundry to cooking homemade family meals. Unlike most, I actually value my independence.

I watch something flash behind the woman's glare. There one moment, gone the next. The silence which grows between us yet again is even more profound than the last, their obvious roles as governmental officials having a say in the matter, but the shadow of another customer catches the corner of my eye long before Index makes their move; I turn to find a girl there, her gaze low and her hands clenched idly at her side, shaking.

The foul taste of outside air is the first to strike me upon stepping outside─the second being the odor of hard liquor radiating from Tess. My eyes register her as a completely different person now. She's thin beyond all measure beneath her blue blouse. Her hair has been dyed a matching color and cut short, her nose is crooked, and a blank ring surrounds the entirety of her left eye. I find myself unable to take my eyes off it─off her.