London's P.O.V
Sometimes it's the pain in knowing that an different outcome was a possibility.
My life has been nothing but torture but I've always tried to remain positive , but damn.
Things often ponder my mind, what if my parents were alive?
What if I stopped self harm and truly learned to love myself.
What if there was a cure to depression instead of bullshit coping mechanisms.
I honestly take slices of my wrists in order to feel that "happy place" a feeling Ive already grown too fond of.
I try and try and sometimes I'm not as successful as I'd like to be .
It scares me.
It's like drowning in an ocean and nobody can hear you,
It's like falling ever so fast into a dark abyss and to even fathom the thought of genuine "happiness" seems like a joke.
Nobody knows it , but every time I stare into the mirror instead of a reflection I see an enemy .
A disgusting and vile creature.
Someone who's been treated like a dog, kicked, hit , punched .
No physical harm could ever amount to the true hurt I feel in my heart.
Or what's left of it anyway....
Who am I, what is my purpose ? ,
Do I have to end up selling my soul in order to regain my mental stability ?
Will I have to kill myself in order to remain peaceful?
Or just to see if people will really care even if it's just for the moment?
Why am I alive? ...
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A/N
Heyyyyyyy , I know it's been a long time and honestly the only excuse I can give is that I've been trying to live life .
Trying to remain positive and spread positivity.
How have you all been?
I miss you all .
I'm back now, let's continue .
