Just the Way You Are

Clean

"Beckett give daddy a kiss," I said as he and I got ready to board the plane, "I love you Hunter." I kissed him and he hugged me tight.

"Give Jon my best, let me know when you land. Beckett be good for mommy." Beckett smiled as he held my hand in the bustling airport. I kissed Hunter one more time before heading to check in. We had just dropped the kids off at school and although they wanted to come, they didn't understand it wasn't a vacation. We got through security and boarded into the cabin. I got Beckett situated and ready for take off. He did a superior job flying and loved looking out at the clouds and city as we began to descend.

We got off the plane, we grabbed our luggage, walked through the big glass doors, and found my parents. "Beckett, look how big you are!" We drove to their home, the flurries were coming down as they usually do this time of year, and I got Beckett settled with lunch while my parents caught me up.

"It was a very aggressive illness, the doctors said he had more time," my mom sipped her tea, "he fell asleep one night and just didn't wake up. Jon was devastated of course."

"It's unfortunate but that's the way to do it. No suffering, no dragged out illness and complications.." I let my voice drift off as I watched the flurries swirl outside, "when are the visits?"

"There's one this afternoon, another tonight and the funeral is tomorrow morning." My dad replied, "When do you head back?"

"Our flight is Monday morning," I helped Beckett tidy up his lunch and brought him over to the couches where we were, "I think this was his first flight, and his first time seeing this much snow." I smiled as he stood at the window, looking out into what appeared to be a snow globe. "How's Alex?"

"Good, he's grown a lot. He had a neurologist appointment a few weeks ago. He's moving a lot." I nodded, happy that his early physiotherapy intervention was helping. "Jenna, your sister is so thankful you're in a position to assist her. It's made a world of difference for them."

"I'm just glad I could help."

The evening was quiet as I dressed Beckett and myself to go to the visitation. There was only one funeral home in our town and it was hard walking into those front doors. Over my lifetime I had several friends and family members pass away and all the memories flooded back. I carried Beckett inside and we found Ali talking to some friends. I caught her eye and she came over, arms wide open to hug Beckett, "Hey handsome!" She kissed him and hugged me. "Thank you for coming - we appreciate it." I let her keep Beckett close as I paid my respects at the casket - thanking God it was a closed one. The visitation wrapped up and I saw countless people from family to old friends of Ali's. "Jen, how about you head back with mom and dad and I'll swing by with The boys. Jon has some stuff to sort out with his brother and mom for tomorrow."

"Yeah if you're sure." I smiled, thinking to myself she seemed in a much better place than our last visit, despite the funeral. She came over with the boys and showed me how Alex was doing with his physio and sign language. He could sign five words, which was quite remarkable.

"He's doing great, Ali," I smiled at this happy little brown eyed boy, shakily standing in front of me, "you should be proud of him. How's Cade taking it all?" Cade was turned seven this year, he was a bright, happy boy and very athletic.

"He is so helpful, but sometimes he gets frustrated." She took a deep breath, "Alex goes to bed a bit earlier. We make sure we have one hour at the end of every day for Cade - whether it be playing a board game or watching tv, it's his time."

"That's really good. I know it must be exhausting." She shrugged, saying she had cut back her work until she could get Alex into school, she is finally working full time hours again. "You're stronger than you realize." We caught up a little bit more and she thanked me for dropping whatever it was I had on my plate to be here.

"You must be so busy," she said, "are the award shows wrapped up? By the way - that burgundy Valentino dress was to die for!" I nodded, saying we wouldn't be going to the Grammy's in the new year since neither of us put out any music in time for nominations.

"This year is Hunter's turn to do his thing, I got my awards, my music is still on the radio," I turned to see Beckett a little teary eyed stumbling over to me, "hey buddy, are you getting tired?" He nodded and climbed into my lap. "I'm sorry Cade - Beckett had a long day." Cade shrugged and climbed onto the couch beside Alex.

"You should be proud of yourself Jenna," Ali said with a smile on her face, "I'm incredibly proud of you. Not just the awards and fancy stuff, but because you're still the most down to earth person I know. You didn't forget where you came from." I smiled and she decided it'd be time to get the boys home as we all needed to be rested for tomorrow's events.

The funeral was short and sweet, and the weekend wrapped up which put us back on a plane on Monday morning. I texted Hunter before we boarded and flipped my phone onto airplane mode. He liked flying, stretching to look out the window at the clouds, smiling as we descended over the city. "DADDY!" He shouted as we approached Hunter, reporters called out but we just waved and made our way back to the car.

"I missed you two - how was the weekend?" Hunter asked, driving us home.

"It was as good as it could be. Alex is doing well, Cade is so tall!" We caught up and Hunter told me the kids were angelic. "Alexis emailed me - she wanted to come by tomorrow to talk about next year."

"Yeah, tomorrow is good. Can we meet at the studio?" I agreed and emailed her. Hunter dropped us off at home before zipping back to work. I texted Amy and she came over to catch up with Hailey until I had to pick up the kids from school.

"Mommy!" Easton shouted as I walked up to the play yard, "I missed you!" I gave him a big hug and told him I missed him too. He and I walked around with Beckett to get Sutton from the primary doors. She hugged me and we walked back to the car, both she and Easton asking me about the weekend. I had a bit of a difficult time explaining to them that Uncle Jon's dad died - they didn't quite understand the concept. We got dinner rolling and Hunter joined us just in time. We caught up, took the kids for a walk and got everyone down for bed.

"I'm happy to be home," I cuddled up next to Hunter, resting my head on his chest, "I missed you."

He brushed his fingers through my hair, "I missed you too."