Loser: hayes grier fanfic

Begging

Hayes POV

Julia just said the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. she apologized and went beyond that. I'm just not sure I trust her again. She did the worst possible thing ever even though it was an accident. I'm just scared it will happen again.

"Julia, this is why I didn't want us to date in the first place. one of us is going to get hurt. I didn't expect it to me but it was. I don't know what to say right now.. it's late and we have school tomorrow." I turned away as I heard her ask something quietly.

"H-hayes, are we still a couple?"

"I..I don't know julia, I need a little time." after that she ran out and across to her house. she had her balcony doors open too and I heard her crying. I went on my balcony and every time I heard her sob it hurt. I ruined it for real. I fucker up again. why can't i do something right?

I felt a tear drop down my cheek. yeah I know your probably judging me I'm emotional when it comes to julia. I just love her so much. I needed to tell her that. I decided I would write a letter to her. I could throw it on her balcony when I was done too. our balconies were only 10 feet apart at most. I wrote the most heartfelt letter I've ever written. what do I tie it to so I can throw it over? the first thing I saw; my football.

Julia's POV

After hayes said he didn't know about us my heart broke. I just lost my life, my best friend, my love. I was broken. I felt my depression coming back. it was so good for the longest time. I ran into my bathroom. I looked at myself. my makeup had all run down my face and my eyes were red. I was a wreak. that's what I did too. I wreaked everything good in my life. I even ruined the relationship between me and my parents. that's why their always away. they hate me. I have nothing to live for. I was so tired of this. I grabbed some blades.

"This one is for messing everything up."

"This one is for breaking hayes' heart"

"This one is for being a fail."

I slipped the blade across my skin three times. it hurt so much but I deserved it. I think I cut one too deep, my arm was pouring blood. I started to cry even harder. I even mess up self harming! I don't belong in this world. I grabbed the bottle of pills and dumped a bunch in my hand. I had everything ready, I was just about to swallow and I heard a thump. I dropped all the pills and slowly walked out.

I saw hayes on his balcony and his football on mine.

"Julia oh my god your not okay." hayes said as he left his balcony. wow shady hayes, real shady. all of a sudden when I finally picked all the pills up I heard my door slam.

Hayes was standing there with a paper with flowers on it.

"I um was gonna send it over with the football and other paper but I saw you and I had to bring it in person. Can I see your arm?" he asked sweetly.

I dropped the pills again, but in a pile. and showed him my arm.

"Julia this is bad. I got it though."

He took me into my bathroom and put a wet towel on my cuts. he also kissed my cheek and gave me the letter. he read it out loud as I read the paper.

"Julia, it started two years ago. you has just moved in from across town and my mom made me bring over a batch of 'welcome to the neighborhood chocolate chip cookies'. I rang the door bell and you came out. before I go on the reason I remember this day so vividly is because it was hands down the best day of my life. you answered the door. I saw before me the most beautiful girl smiling at me. you. I was in love from first sight even though we were just going into sixth grade. I knew I couldn't live without you, so I became your best friend. I always knew I wanted to be more than that but I knew you didnt. I was heartbroken but your smile always made me feel better. the day you told me we shouldn't talk anymore was the day I broke. After that I became very depressed. whenever I saw you smile in school was my only happy moment in the day. that's why I was always looking at you. the day we got assigned that project was going to be my last day on earth. I had been through almost a year of hell and I couldn't take it. I was writing my death note in that class and was going to kill myself when I got home. Julia, your the reason I'm standing before you right now. and I sure as hell am not going to loose you. if I do I will kill myself. your my happiness, your my life, your my everything. I love you julia and im sorry. I'm sorry I've been a jerk it's just Dylan is part of the reason I wanted to die and you got with him. I felt part off die. I promise I will be good to you for the rest if my life and be there for you. I will mostly love you unconditionally. I love you julia. will you take me back?

-hayesie poo"

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Okay that letter was really really long which probably made this chapter long as hell. I'm Sorry for the occasional swears they just fit. I'm sorry for tears if anyone cried at the letter. I should update tomorrow because it's kind of a cliff hanger. READ MY OTHER STORT THE SECRET LIFE OF HAYES GRIER! it's pretty good but hayes is gay lol caution if you do read it it swears a lot because their older <3 liv