College player⛓Ethan Dolan

Chapter 10

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"Alright ladies I need ten laps around this court now!"one of my coaches says pointing to the ground yelling

She blows her whistle and everyone  starts running along the black line

I stayed at a jog not waisting my breath on this since we had to do 10 laps!

All I could think about was how Ethan and Lindsay are together right now. They could probably be having sex right now knowing their reputation

Tbh I'm jealous that he even agreed to hang out with her

Now I know that Ethan just wants to be friends with me and I'm hurt yet angry

Practice will take the anger out of me and the life aswell

We finished our laps and got in line in front of our coaches

"As you all know championship is in 2 days and we need you guys in your best shape, this practice is working out for 3 hours no complaining"she yelled

"Now we will do these together and no man is left behind now start with 20 burpees"she said blowing her whistle and we all started by jumping up then going down to a crouch then in a plank and jumping back up

We did that 19 more times and getting yelled at to push harder

I felt like I was in labor, don't ask me how I know cause I just know

We continued this for hours till it was time, TIME! To go home

I found the energy to sprint to my bag and out of the gym to my car and getting in driving home

I pulled in getting out and locking it

I walk in and see everyone on the living room

Walking over to Grayson and collapsing into his arms as he cradled me

"Girl What did they do to you"Jessica asked me laughing

"Everything"I said yawning

I get out of Grayson's grip zombie walking over to where Ethan was sitting

"You smell like shit"he said pinching his nose in disgust

I look over at him exhausted and look at his neck and see hickeys all over it

"And you smell like sex no difference"I said yelling getting up and groaning walking up the stairs

I get in my room and pick out some comfy clothes and get in the shower

When I got in I got to thinking

I can't believe he actually slept with her
But then I started crying

Yeah I'm crying over a boy but it's actually the anniversary of my parents death

I couldn't stop it was loud sobs it kept coming and I didn't know what to do

"Ell you ok"I hear Jessica knock on the door

"Yeah"I said trying to sound as good as possible

"Ok"I hear and other footsteps leave my room

I sit on the shower floor and let the warm water hit my back as I cry

I think ever since my parents died I've always tried to Well I keep my feelings internal

I never felt the need to show them cause I don't want to let others around me sad. I cry myself to sleep every night just thinking about how my life would be if my parents where actually around for holidays and birthdays but their not

Finally I get out of the shower and get changed brushing my hair and letting it air dry

I grabbed a black Weeknd hoodie from my closet and put it on walking downstairs to grab a snack

I kept my head down so no one would see my eyes their probably stuffy

Grabbing cereal a bowl spoon and milk and sitting at the dinning room table just resting my head on the palm of my head just staring at the table

I've lost so many people in my life I'm surprised I haven't killed myself yet

I mean I'm pretty sure no one else would be surprised either

After everything I've been through I'm thinking about it

Yeah suicidal thoughts 101

A tear falls down my cheek having all the memories flash through my mind

"Ell"Logan says

I lift my head up wiping the tear sniffing and then smiling

Keep it real Ell no one with know

"We know what today is"they said sitting down

I groaned

"I don't need therapy guys"I said about to get up my Ethan grabbed me sitting my back down

"It's not therapy we just want you to know that we love you and where here for you"Christina said

"That's cool can I go now"I said really wanting to cry my lip quivers

"Ellington your a human being your allowed to have feelings I haven't seen you cry in 4 years you just need to let it out"Grayson said getting up and going to the open seat next to me and hugging me

I finally did I let it out I let out everything I had in me

I broke out of Grayson's grip and ran upstairs and into my room and locking it

I don't need anyone's help I've been alone for 7 years I don't need anyone

Wrapping myself in my grey duvet and falling into a deep sleep

Welp this just explains my life👆🏻👆🏻

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