Hard to Find

Chapter Seventeen - Loveless

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c h a p t e r s e v e n t e e n

{Loveless}

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I finish folding a pair of jeans and shove them in my duffel bag. My room is a complete mess from packing, but everything is ready to go, except me. I need a shower and Jayden will be here any minute. So hastily I strip, pin my hair up and climb into the shower I didn't give time to heat up. I scrub until I deem myself clean enough to get out.

The doorbell rings right as I pull my shirt over my head. Knowing it isn't anyone other than Jayden, I pull myself together and walk to the door. Butterflies dance in my stomach and the second I turn the knob, I'm met with his gorgeous face.

"Hey, Killer."

Jayden's arms hurdle toward me, and I'm pulled against his chest. His mouth fuses with mine and we kiss feverishly as if we didn't see each other last night.

He pulls away abruptly and reaches for my bags waiting by the door. "We have to get going. I will take these down, meet me at the car."

I nod, still pouting from the brevity of our kiss. He laughs and brushes his thumb over my protruding bottom lip. "Don't look so sad, this is just the beginning." With that said, he leaves my apartment. I quickly check that nothing dangerous is plugged in and that I have everything. I throw my purse over my shoulder and lock the door behind me.

Jayden holds the car door open for me and we get going as soon as possible.

"You know if you need me to drive, just ask. I'm not expecting you to drive seven hours." I say as we start down the street, and he answers with a simple nod. I watch the city pass by in a blur and before we know it, we're on the freeway.

After a longing silence, I connect my phone to his speakers. "I made us a playlist. It's full of The Cure, Coldplay, Lo Moon, The Nationals... and many more."

His eyebrows knit together. "Lo Moon?"

I shake my head in disappointment. "Oh, you're in for a treat."

I search for my favorite song of theirs, "Loveless", and immediately close my eyes to absorb the music. Every sound and lyric in this song draws emotions out of me I've never felt before. I want Jayden to experience it too.

When the chorus comes, I peer at him. There isn't any emotion on his face. His eyes fixate on the road, stoic. So, I look away.

As the song ends and the music fades away, I ask, "Did you like?"

He nods wordlessly. That was my exact reaction after I first listened.

I lean back in my seat, feeling satisfied, and hit shuffle on the playlist. The sun is setting, creating a blend of warm colors in the sky as the cracked windows blow a cool breeze onto my face.

"Are we meeting Noah in Virginia?" I ask.

"No, he is busy traveling for work."

"I see," A weird feeling looms inside me about this whole situation. Wouldn't Noah want to take part in finding his kid? Why is Jayden doing all the work? Traveling seven hours to a different state for a friend is huge. Even if he "owes him one."

"You're a really good friend for doing this."

He laughs. "I know how much it means to him, I don't mind helping. Plus, I'm with you." He looks over momentarily, casting the most heartwarming smile. I feel it the whole way through my body, down to my toes.

By the time night falls, my eyes are too heavy to stay open. We've been talking about work and family. He tells me about Addison and their childhood. I can tell how much he cares for his sister.

"Remember the night you were over with Blake for the first time?"

I think back to that embarrassing night when we were making out on the couch and Jayden found us. "Yes?"

"She told me she was pregnant," he says, and my eyes widen. "Yeah, she thought I'd hate her, but I'm extremely happy for her."

"Why would she think that?"

"Our parents." He tells me how toxic they were, especially toward Addison. They neglected her and favored Jayden to where it was unhealthy. He had to do something. Now, neither of them speak to their parents.

I know the feeling.

"It's pretty intense, but we're happy without them."

I lean back in my seat, wearily closing my eyes. "Sometimes, it's better to let things go, even if they made us happy once." 

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It has been an incredibly long time since I wrote or posted. I've been taking time to myself, applying to colleges (I got into 3 so far!) and sorting things out. I know this chapter is small but I promise the next one will be long, and good:) Hopefully I've gotten  my writing mojo back. 

Happy Thanksgiving you guys, love you all!

INSTAGRAM & TWITTER: annasteffeyy

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Thanks for reading, xoxo Anna :)