Hard to Find

Chapter Twenty Nine - Perspective

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c h a p t e r t w e n t y n i n e

{Perspective}

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Skylar's POV

I grip the sides of the toilet bowl for the fifth time tonight. At this point, I'm puking up acid, and nothing more. My stomach is empty, and the alcohol is slowly dissipating from my bloodstream. Jayden is by my side every time, holding my hair back, with a prepared cup of water to sip on.

Groaning, I fall against the bathroom floor, letting the tiles cool me down. I've never felt so embarrassed.

"You okay, my love?" He brushes the hair out of my eyes. I still haven't told him everything that happened. Not because I don't want to, because I haven't been able to coherently think for the past five hours. I'm finally regaining my sanity hour by hour.

"I'm fine, I shouldn't have done that." I hold my stomach. "Sadness and alcohol do not mix."

His chuckle reverberates against the walls, and then it's silent.

"I was so worried about you."

With my eyes still shut, I exhale. "I know I'm sorry. My phone was dead, and I wasn't in the right headspace to behave normally."

I have yet to talk to Marlee, and I know that's going to be interesting. Jayden is keeping her updated, but she will not be happy with me for acting so irrationally. I'm not the only one affected by my father's visit. So is Marlee, and I should've considered that before almost killing my organs and scaring her half to death.

I roll onto my back. "After my mother died, my father left Marlee and me when I was fifteen and she was eighteen. I wish I could say I'm lying when I tell you one morning we woke up to an envelope full of money and a sorry note. I couldn't tell you what happened after that or how Marlee took matters into her own hands, but she did, all by herself."

"You didn't have anyone to take care of you?"

I laugh, but it's a sad laugh. "Both grandparents had passed away and neither my father nor my mother had siblings. That was one thing they bonded over, being an only child. So when my dad left us, we were alone. I resented him so much, but as I grew older, I learned to not dwell on. The anger was always there, but it wasn't on the forefront of my mind... until today when it all came flooding back."

Silently, Jayden pulls me into his lap as I explain the rest of the day; how my father made an appointment and came in without warning up until my time at the bar.

"How did you know to find me there?" I wonder.

He pulls me tighter against him. "When I found out I had a daughter, that's the first place I went was the bar. It became unhealthy and nobody knew, not even Blake. During that time I was mean, passive-aggressive, sad... That was around the time I met you."

I chuckle at the memory, which feels so long ago. "What happened during those three months after we met?"

"I got my shit together, stopped drinking, tried focusing on work, and started organizing everything to find Ellie. Like I told you, the night in the hotel room in Virginia, I knew I'd see you again. You saw right through me that night. You were the only person to notice I wasn't in a good mood, and you didn't even know me. My friends who I've known for years didn't even notice."

It's strange how our first encounter held such a different meaning for both of us. I wasn't aware I affected Jayden's life right off the bat.

"You've changed so much since then, it's hard for me to picture us in the beginning. We were both nasty toward each other." I say.