Hard to Find

Chapter Thirty Six - This Feeling

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c h a p t e r t h i r t y s i x

{This Feeling}

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Skylar's POV

My hands fumble with the necklace Jayden gave me. I never understood the excitement of buying gifts. Materialistic items never held much weight. But the moment I saw this, I felt special.

"I'll take those please," I point to a bouquet of Baby's Breath and smile at the florist. They ring me up, then I head for my mother's grave.

With everything winding down, I finally feel like I have a moment to breathe. And there is no better way to spend it than taking fresh flowers to my mom and going home to Jayden.

I clean up her stone as best as I can and place the flowers in their new home. I sit down, using my peacoat as a blanket.

"Hey mama, it's been way too long. I'm sorry about that, I have a good reason. Before I tell you that, Marlee's pregnancy is going great. She and the baby are healthy and are due this November." I smile at the thought. "I'm also really happy. Remember that guy I was telling you about? Jayden? Well, it's serious, we're headed to my apartment today to pack it up so I can move in with him. I remember you saying nobody could ever tie me down... but I think I may have found the one who can.

"You'd like him a lot. For the past couple of months, I've been helping him find his kid. We've both been through the wringer, but it looks like we're coming out with only bruises. He's waiting to hear from her adoptive family to see if he can be a part of her life. Meeting them went well, so I'm hopeful they'll agree."

My head whirls around to see two children, and who I assume is their father, walking toward a grave with flowers in hand. It makes my heart heavy.

"Here's the kicker though, Dad visited Marlee and me. He wants a relationship. I haven't reached out or said anything since he visited because I don't think I have it in me to forgive him." I pick at the dead grass like a child. "I've held so much resentment toward him since he left. Although, part of me doesn't want him to die alone. And part of me understands his emotions because I also push away anything good in my life. The thing I don't understand is him pushing away his kids, his only connection to you. And seeing how much Jayden is struggling to get his child back makes me even angrier dad walked away so easily."

I realize I'm ranting and stop myself. I take a deep breath and place my hands on the cool granite stone. "Anyway, I will figure it out like I usually do. I miss you and love you. Keep watching out over Marlee."

I start my journey toward my apartment, stopping at mine and Jayden's favorite restaurant for takeout because it will be easier to eat while we're packing. I text him I'm on my way and that I'll see him soon.

My pace decelerates as I approach the complex. I stare at its brick exterior, realizing that this will be one of the last times I stand here with a key to get in. A sentimental feeling washes over me, but it's entangled with excitement.

I walk up the stairs, materializing the brass key from my purse, and push inside. There are boxes already scattered about since I've been slowly gathering my belongings over the past month, but we still have a lot more to pack.

After setting the takeout on the counter, I push the living room windows open to let the fresh air in, and then make my way toward my bedroom to start the grueling process. About ten minutes pass when I hear the grumble of a truck pull up.