Bruised&broken (Jalex)

Koi fish

I've utilized my Tuesday by walking around the center. It's not actually that bad here. I've been clean two and a half weeks and I already feel on top of the world. I haven't even though about relapsing at all. Finding out that Alex worked here was the best day of my life. Well, besides meeting him in the first place but when we meet initially, I hated him because I had to help him around school. Now, i appreciate him more.

I just walked around the courtyard aimlessly; Alex had some at home issues so I didn't have anything to do today except check in with the nurses a couples hours later. Since this Saturday will be three weeks here, they're drawing blood to see if it has totally left my system. I wasn't heavily addicted to it so they suspect by the following week I'll be fully clean of it. The next week will be one month here. Hopefully I can leave soon. Comfort my father. Actually spend nights with Alex and Alison. God I only meet that child once and I miss her.

I'm still waiting for Alex's answer; in anxious about it though I fully understand why he needs to think it through. Even now that Tay is checked into here, he has to be cautious about it just incase she attempts to make a move on me.

I've been walking around outside for a while when an idea struck up. The cafeteria is always open with snacks for people so I decided to go there to grab something. The courtyard is actually right next to the cafeteria so it only took me a minute to go there, grab a bag of plain popcorn and come back. I wanted to feed the koi fish.

The koi pound was an in-ground pool that. Only hand a stone lip surrounding it so I was able to sit and be close to the fishies. I pop open the bag of popcorn and took a couple pieces out. I threw them in a manner to scatter them out over the water and watched as each fish raced to the now gross, soggy popcorn.

I wonder what it'd be like to be a fish. Do you think these fish are content with their lives? would they live up to the expectations we have as kids when we first watch 'Finding Nemo'? would they scour the whole entire coast of Australia looking for their son?

Look at me. I don't even know if fish experience consciousness and I'm asking if they'd care about losing a son. I threw more pop corn in the pound and continued to watch the fish.

Another though that always occurred to me is in that massive ocean filled with thousands of the same type of fish that look exactly the same, would a fish recognize their own fish child. Probably not and that thought scares me.

Imagine if humans all looked the same. We could never tell who is who and if that's your child or mine. Animals always confuse me but they probably don't think much of it.

~*~

I probably sat outside for hours because when my popcorn bag was empty I looked up at the sky and the sun was starting to set. What time is it? I heard a familiar voice calling my name and looked over to the door. It was Linda. I stood up and walked over to her throwing away the empty bag in the process. I only have a small smile as a greeting.

"What were you thinking about Jack if you didn't hear me call your name ten other times?" should I tell her I was think about the fish or would she just send me off to another center, this time one for the mentally unstable.

"Um, just the fish. " I decided to keep it open ended so so wouldn't see the weird thoughts of my mind.

"Alright, well you're twenty minutes late to your appointment so let's hurry so you can go eat. "

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First off, let me thank you guys for all the votes, that was a really happy thing for me to wake up to. you guys made my day:) another thing is is that I enjoy writing things into the story that I think of. My sister recently bought a salt water aquarium and about ten of the same fish and they all look the same so this is what I'm thinking about while I was looking at them. I don't know why but I love fish. Tell me your opinion on it. Do you think fish experience consciousness or do they recognize their children? Tell me what YOU think. Happy reading guys💚