Quiet Backstage: A Series of Lippa Oneshots

All Too Well

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me

You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well

-Taylor Swift

Lin was rummaging through his closet, trying to find his notebook of song drafts. He'd angrily stashed it away in there after he explained to his friend, Tommy (who is lovingly referred to as "Kail"), that he "never wanted to see it again".

Well, here he was a week and a half later, on the brink of having to restart the whole second act of this whole Hamilton idea he was bringing to life, completely panicked because he had just realized the potential that this show maybe had.

Lin gasped excitedly when he came across a buried box deep in the back of the closet. If he were to hide something anywhere in this closet, that'd be the place to do it. He opened the lid to the box that once held a pair of quite expensive dress shoes that Lin had only worn maybe twice. Lin reached down, hoping to feel the worn out binding of his notebook, but instead he felt a bunch of fabric. His eyes darted down to the layers of fabric he was holding in his hands. Lin soon recognized this as a staple from Phillipa Soo's fall wardrobe; a burgundy blanket scarf.

She had left it at his apartment on the first night they ever spent together. Since then, she did retrieve it and put it back in her collection. But now, it was back in Lin's apartment.

Pippa was wearing the scarf the night of the fight. The fight that lasted the length of a New York thunderstorm and ended with the door slamming and a vase breaking. The door was slammed when she walked out, the vase broke when Lin threw his hands up in frustration, and the scarf was left on the floor among the glass. Pippa threw her scarf off when she could feel the tension of the argument swallowing her whole. The room was about one hundred degrees to the both of them, even when the scarf was twisted off of her neck, Pippa still felt like the heat of the words she was shouting towards her boyfriend was burning the back of her throat.

This whole thing was started because Pippa said she wanted to go back home; she argued that she didn't even know what her mother's voice sounded like in real time, and that sure, she loved New York and her job, but she needed to go back home between her crazy audition schedule. This promoted Lin to fight back with that she was in the greatest city in the world, and that any city would be the same: crazy, hectic, and full of traffic. He argued that Chicago was no different than New York, Pippa fired back, telling Lin that she didn't grow up in Chicago, but near. She gave him a sassy, "I can tell you really paid attention" comment, and the rest of the fight is history.

Lin flipped the fabric in between his fingers. She wore this on almost every date. That's how it even became a staple. Because it was Lin's favorite color on her. Weaved in between every thread in this scarf were stitches of hazy memories and promises that were never kept.

With an angst ridden exhale, Lin threw the scarf back into the box and hid the box even deeper back into his closet. He looked down at the spot the box was seconds ago, and he saw the notebook he went through all of this trouble for. Lin flipped to the front page where he wrote his dream cast for the show.

Eliza Schuyler Hamilton - Phillipa Soo

Lin tore the page from the worn binding of the book and threw it in the same corner as the scarf went. Lin took a deep breath, he needed to move on. He knew that mixing profession and pleasure was a recipe for disaster, yet he did it anyway, and now he was suffering the consequences.

But maybe that's the thing about things that hurt. It mattered to him, so it hurt when it ended. Sure, he had gotten over it as best he could, but the thoughts and flashbacks of the good times came a bit too soon for his personal taste, and it was all because of that scarf he recognized all too well.

~~~~~

A/N: Hey, I really liked this one! I hope you did too!

Also, P.S. send in prompts! Nothing dirty, please! ❤