our civil war

37.

There is so much emotion coming up. 
I want to apologize ahead of time. 
My intention was never to hurt you guys. 
And for this I am sorry. 
Goodluck. 

Just like before her eyes were heavier than bulders and were weighing her down. She had the faint recollection of what was happening around her. She heard people, but they seemed to be far away, almost in a hallway.

She couldn't remember where she was and it was driving her crazy. She heard the sound of someone sniffling but she didn't know who it was. But slowly her eyes started to open. She was met by a bright light. 

she looked down and noticed that her hands had different devices all over them. She couldn't move them so it was probably amnesia that was wearing off. She felt the cold blankets of the hospital bed she laid. A sigh of relief overcame her when she realized she wasn't with Thanos anymore. She was happy. She was safe. 

Her eyes, now fully opened looked to the side of her and saw Laura and Clint sitting beside her. She gave them a faint smile, Clint, however, did make eye contact with her. So Laura had to be the one who started the conversation. 

"How are you feeling honey?" She asked softly, very mother like. Natasha closed her eyes and rested her head on her pillow. 

"Very tired," she muttered. Instinctively she put her hand, that she could now move on her stomach expecting to feel the growing baby bump but her hand fell. Her face darkened. 

"Tash we have something to tell you," Clint said in a mournful voice. But Natasha didn't listen and the device tracking her heart rate was an indication of her growing pain. 

"Clint." She said warning. deep down she knew, but she didn't want to hear it out loud. 

"Nat," Laura said tears in her eyes. 

"No." She spoke brokenly. 

"I am sorry," Clint said. By than Nat was shaking her head and crying. Neither knew what to do because in their own experience they had never seen her cry with this much emotion. Clint stood and walked over to his best friend in an attempt at comforting her but she pushed his hand away and cried. "Nat-" 

"Leave me alone." She said. Clint looked over at Laura and she nodded her head as if saying she needed time. Clint sighed and kissed Natasha's forehead before leaving the room. 

"Clint..." She muttered. Clint stopped dead in his tracks at the broke woman behind him. Tears stained her face, her eyes were red and puffy. "Does he know?" She asked. Clint looked down debating whether or not to tell her or not. And from his silence she knew, she had her answer. The sense of guilt plastered on his face only made her cries harder. Clint knew he had to give her some time so he left. 

Natasha sat there crying. Crying over her baby. Crying over Steve. Crying over everything wrong in her life. 

Steve Rogers, the man she loved. The man who once told her he would never leave her ended up leaving. Promised to never lie to her, he did. Then he took the life of the only thing she had left in this world. 

Steve Rogers had officially broken her. 

Meanwhile, Steve was outside of her room staring at the door. He knew by the sounds of her loud sobbing that she knew about the baby. He was sure she knew that he had called for it due to the fact that Clint didn't even try to hide the glare he wore on his face. 

Steve was having a mental debate with himself as to going in there. The sound of her crying could be heard from down the hall and it killed him. He felt awful but deep down he knew, or at least he was hoping that he had made the right decision. 

He finally, once all of his friends left for dinner which he refused, walked to the door. The sound of her cries had died down but still present if you listened. All Steve wanted to do was hold her and tell her how much he loved her. 

Slowly, taking a deep breath, he put his hand on the door and opened it. He was greeted by the sounds of Natasha's cries and the broken woman on the bed. He looked down before announcing his presence with a soft cough. 

"GET OUT!" She yelled once she noticed him in her room. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to see him ever again. 

"Natasha please let me talk to you," Steve begged, his eyes were now stinging and had tears in them. 

"I don't want to talk to you," she answered spitfully. 

"Nat please-" 

"Don't call me that! Get out! I don't wanna see you." She yelled tears slipping down her eyes. 

"I never wanted to hurt you, Nat! The baby was already dying because of what Thanos did, had we had kept him in your stomach he would have killed you! I couldn't lose you." He cried out. 

"You are selfish! I rather had died with my baby than stay here with you! I never want to see you again!" Natasha said. Steve felt his heartbreak at that exact moment. He was a broken man in love with a broken woman. The only problem was that she never wanted him. She hated him. 

"I did it because I love you. I couldn't let you die. I couldn't just sit there knowing I could have saved you. Please don't say that you don't mean it." He said, almost begging for her to say that this was all a cruel joke. 

"You don't love me. If you loved me you wouldn't have put me through all this pain." She cried. 

"I do love you, Natasha. I really do. And I told you that once that I would marry you and if you would give me the chance maybe we could start a new family! Maybe even-" 

"I don't want a family with you! Don't you understand that! I am drowning in a pool of misery but I'd rather die than be saved by you. I hate you." She yelled. 

"I am sorry for what I did. And I hope one day you can see why I did what I did. I never set out to hurt you, Tasha. I love you and don't forget it." He said. He walked to the door looking back at Natasha who's cries were not settling down and walked out of the room. He had ruined any chance he had with her and he felt like he deserved it. 

Meanwhile, Shuri was back in her lab with Tony, Jemma, Fitz, and Bruce. They were all analyzing the stones trying to see if there was anything to reverse the effects. 
"What if we destroy the stones?" Fitz asked. 

"Why would we want to destroy the stone? We need it and it could kill everyone in the stone!" Tony said. "We don't want anyone in there to die!" 

"I got it!" Gemma and Shuri, who were working together, said at the same time. The boys all turned their attention to the girls and Shuri allowed Gemma to talk. 

"If we apply enough energy at the stone it will allow the stone to activate. Once the stone is activated we use the ax! Thor's ax to hit it, which with our calculations could allow the effects of the stone to disappear!" 

"Why Thor's ax?"  Bruce asked. 

"Because." Shuri started. "The ax was created by a star's power, which is a lot of power, and if we combined it with Carol's energy blast a large effect will occur. Powerful enough to reverse everything!" 

"There is no guarantee this will work," Tony said scratching his head. 

"We really don't have any other ideas so we have to try this," Gemma said. Everyone nodded their heads and then everyone looked at Tony. He sighed and then looked down. 

"Okay fine. I will go get Thor." He spoke. Tony looked over at the Infinity stone and muttered "This better work."  under his breath before walking out of the room.