Love & Romance ~ A study of Intimacy

Chapter 15

I raised an eyebrow, now very confused. He wanted to try something? Like what?

"What do you want to try out?" Lee released me slightly and stepped over to stand beside the edge of the bed. Was he suggesting...?  Before I could finish the question in my head, Lee spoke.

"I want to try some sensory exercise with you. It will help with your detailed writing. I promise, I won't do anything out of line."

"Lee, where is this coming from?" Lee looked to the laptop, reminding me that he read my scene. I grimaced, remembering how bland it was, This seemed an interesting idea, but what was in store for me? No sex? What was he going to do then? 

I was curious to what he had in store for me, but Lee had my best intentions at heart. He wouldn't offer something that he thought would be a dull experience; yet another part of him i liked. I walked over to the bed, seeing him sit down and gesture me over. I slowly maneuvered myself to kneel between his legs. Lee smiled at me before gently guiding me around to lay my back against his chest. 

"Alright...?" Lee gently wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. 

"Pretend you're Jasmine and I'm Gerald. What do you feel right now?" I took in his question, trying to decipher it for any alternative meaning outside of the obvious. Why was how I felt at the moment important? I shrugged a bit in his arms, smiling.

Lee nodded and gave me a gentle squeeze. It was true though; his body was warm against mine. I could feel his steady heartbeat against my back and feel his breath against my shoulder and ear.

"Keep going." I tried to think. What else could I say? Why was he interested in making me say what was on my mind? 

"I can feel your heart beating against my back."

"Mhmmm."

"It's steady... and matches mine." Lee remained silent. listening to me describe what I felt. To be honest, it felt strange describing what was on my mind. I was letting my inner monologue come out and who knew what I was saying silently in my head? 

I got comfortable against Lee's chest. I began to understand what this exercise was about. It was dissection of mine and body. I had to be a scientist, testing the results of an embrace, a kiss, a laugh whenever I could. I had to put it into words, natural for the mind to say and real enough for someone to actually feel. The longer I remained in Lee's arms, the more open I became, laying out each emotion that came to mind and the truth that appeared with each one.

"Your arms around me make me feel safe... at the same time, I am anxious, nervous about what will happen next. You won't tell me what you're doing and the puts me on edge a bit..."

Lee continued to remain silent, closing his eyes. As I took a breath, I felt his hand gently rub mine, his thumb running along the length of my palm. 

"You're stroking your thumb over my skin. Trapped beneath your hand, my hand can only shudder at the feelings your causing it to have." 

"Is it bad?" I shook my head. No. It wasn't bad at all. He was extremely slow and gentle with his movements, careful not to frighten me but making sure I focused on it. 

"I like it ... It feels really nice ..." I could hear the smile grow on Lee's face as he lifted my hand up and softly kissed my shoulder. His lips were like soft feathers, barely brushing against my skin. That simple gesture sent shivers running through my arm. Lee was being careful and precise. Despite not hinting his next move at all, he seemed to know what he was doing. This became a bit of an adventure for me to experience. 

Yet, I could feel myself becoming even more nervous with each kiss he dropped on my skin. I wasn't sure how to react: should I pull away? Should I watch and wait? 

"You're being gentle... My mind is getting cloudy, unsure of how to react... Still, I don't want you to stop.." It was becoming embarrassing to say my thoughts aloud; especially as my mind began to imagine what he would do next. Would simply hold me? Would he shower me in kisses and touches? I was left standing on a cliff side, excited and anxious.

Lee lowered his lips to my wrist, eventually not being able to reach his head over my shoulder, and began to lightly pepper my shoulder with soft kisses. I fought a moan from escaping my lips, biting down on my lower lip to suppress the sound. 

"Y-Your kisses... uh ... my neck..." Soon, comprehensible sentences stopped forming in my mind. Why was this happening? I was so concentrated on his lips that I couldn't speak or think anything to say. Was this the goal? 

Lee lifted his lips from my skin and gave my body a gentle squeeze. 

"Are you okay?" I couldn't answer. I had to take a breath, trying to regain my composure. I had to respond, however. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, making him lay his head against mine. 

"Well, would you like to know how I'm feeling? I could only nod. Did I agree because I wanted to know what was on his mind or was I too clouded in his kisses and touch that I just nodded naturally? I could no longer tell nor did I have the willpower to try. 

Lee gently nuzzled the side of my head, his breath dancing along my neck and making me quake in his arms. I swallowed a shy gulp, wondering and guessing what he would say.

"The way you fit within my arms makes me so ... happy. As you can hear my heartbeat, I can hear yours beat in perfect sync with mine. Every part of you entrances me so much..." My heart almost couldn't take it. Every word that slipped from his mouth made my heart quiver and squee. Was he being Gerald... or was he being himself? 

"Still, I'm so nervous. I constantly worry about how you feel about me... I worry that I take things too far with you with how I take care of you and how close I am to you..." My mind began to meld Gerald and Lee together. Who was speaking to me? Was this part of the exercise or was this a confession in disguise? Lee was perfectly confusing me.

"May I... do more?"