In Progress [SASUNARU]

17

We stopped crying about twenty minutes ago. Now we're just lying on my porch, looking up at the night sky. Both with our hands behind our heads. It's hard for me to believe I could show so much emotion. I didn't even know I had that much emotion. Not five minutes later I glance at Naruto and see that he's still looking at the night sky. "Hey, Naruto?" He turns his head to face me. "Yeah, teme?" I ignore his childish remark and continue speaking, looking straight into his eyes. "You know I was serious right?" He raises an eyebrow.
"About what?"
"I love you."
He turns back up to look at the sky causing me to do the same, but not before I catch him blushing.
"Y-Yeah..." I didn't really expect an 'i love you too' in return but it sorta hurts not getting one anyway.
"I'm not really sure if I love you but..." I perk up on the inside, relieved that he reciprocates some sort of feelings for me that aren't just platonic. I face him for a second before turning back to the night sky.
"Yeah. That's all I need."

"So... are we dating...?" He queries, still looking up at the sky. I smile at the big navy sky, speckled with little flecks of bright white, happy that he was willing to date me.
"I don't think so, Nobody's been asked out." There are about thirty seconds of silence before Naruto responds.
"Oh... Ok... honestly... I've never been this way with anyone before. I'm not really sure how this works, to be honest." I raise an eyebrow before chuckling, realizing how much of a love life Naruto had. Well, more like his lack of one.
"You haven't dated anyone in all the years I've been gone?"
"I was training with Jiraiya for two of them and the last two I was searching for you." "Oh" my eyes widen.
"you searched for me for two years?"
"I searched for the two years I was training too. Everywhere we went I would ask around. Sometimes I'd find one of that snake's hideouts but you were never there. Well, until you were. It took a couple of tries though." He giggles, shrugging his shoulders while sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. I stare at him in awe; I'm so lucky I didn't fuck up more than I did. What if I forcefully raped him while we were drunk. He wouldn't be able to forgive me so there would be no way I could ever forgive myself. The way he is I may have been dead, it's more likely that I would be imprisoned or exiled though, he's too soft on the people he cares about. We glance at each other simultaneously.
"Hey Naruto I don't think its a good idea to go ou-"
"Will you go out with me Sas-"
We look at each other, him a little bit heartbroken.
"Why not?" A single tear falls to the wood of the porch.
"I-I just don't think we're ready. I'm sorry."
He whips his head back up to the sky, more tears falling.
"But you love me..."
"I also raped you."
"But-"
"This doesn't feel healthy, I don't feel like I can make you feel safe, I don't know if I can make you feel loved."
"I can hold my own, I've never needed protection. You know that."
"That's not what I mean Naruto. I want to be your lover, your boyfriend, the person you come home to at night and curl up into the futon with. And I can't be that if we're consumed with the reality that you've been raped, by me of all people. That I've betrayed your trust. I can't be that to you. I can't have you fear or loath me in the back of your head."
"I don't know, Sasuke... I just thought that- like- you want to be with the person you love... And I know I can't return your feelings in the same way but I-"
"Let me take you on a date first. A real date. I'll treat u to some place nice."
I grab his hand from behind his head. Pulling it down to our sides as I caress it with my thumb. He gazes upon the night sky, with an unsure expression. His bottom lip in between his teeth tells me he has something more to say. I decide not to push, already having a hard time processing the emotions he has already expressed to me. I know once I get up, dust myself off and walk into my house after giving him a fair well, that I'll sit on my bed and think 'ill never look at that man the same way again.' And that eats me up inside, to the point of no return.