We were reckless.
How did we get from kissing to you pinning me to the wall to us both on the floor in a tangle of limbs?
We made an explosion that day, Park Jimin.
And now, we are suffering the consequences of it.
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I went out shopping with my mom and we bought tons of new clothes. Any clothes that we thought would be cute on me, we bought.
We went to a small diner, our arms loaded with shopping bags, and ordered sandwiches and coffee.
I smiled and laughed with my mom.
She told me so many stories of when I was younger, the things I did. Some stories I'd already heard before, others I'd never heard before. I soaked every one of them up like a sponge does water.
I used to do a lot of art, painting. I'd smudge paint everywhere, my mom said. I'd loved making peanut butter sandwiches and wanted to open a PB&J shop when I was older. I once fell into a hole when I was six. I didn't cry until we'd taken me to the emergency room and they told me I'd broken my ankle.
I don't remember breaking my ankle. I just remember the cast. It was bright pink. And I got to ride a wheelchair for six months, which I found fun at the time.
It wasn't even two in the afternoon after mom and I finished eating and I was exhausted.
Mom promised to take care and wash my clothes.
I headed upstairs, fatigue swirling and clouding my mind.
But I hadn't seen you that day. I needed to see you.
I wearily put on the blue hoodie when I got to my room.
I found myself back in your school courtyard.
For once, I spotted you immediately.
You were playing with some other boys, kicking around a soccer ball. I sat down on a nearby bench to watch as you raced down the field, calling for the ball to your teammates.
The tie of your school uniform waving wildly in the air like a flag.
One of your teammates finally crossed you the ball in front of the goal. You effortlessly jumped in the air and nailed the ball into the goal net.
If I had more energy, I would cheer for you.
I just smiled as your four other teammates surrounded you, cheering and pumping their fists in the air.
You laughed and then winced when one of them clapped you a little too hard on the back.
I laughed a little, unable to keep it in me.
You were so happy.
It was as if you heard my laugh, though I know you didn't. You couldn't have because your teammates were cheering so loudly around you and my laugh was so soft.
