Phoenix || Malia Tate

43

She comes only ten minutes after he's made the announcement. He stands by the front doors, just like he said he would, with his arms crossed behind his back, watching as Ellie walks towards him. Her face is flushed red, like she ran the entire way here, and even though Beacon Hills High isn't all that big, she probably did. This - Phoenix coming to see her, this is all she wanted. He can see it in the way her eyes light up at the sight of him, can feel his heart ache when she begins to slow, this hopeful look etched onto her face.

"Nix." She says it with a smile. He thinks of their childhood, of the traumas that's brought them closer, and the little house on the corner they've made their home, and he knows she's thinking about it too. She's looking at him with this relief that he cannot believe and he doesn't want to break her heart. He doesn't want to break up what's so little left of his family.

"Ellie..." 

She waits. Eagerly, she waits until she can't anymore. She rushes foreword, and somehow, despite the significant height difference, despite all the distance between them, envelops him in her arms. For a second, he can't help but collapse into her. Into the safety of his big sister, his protector and family. And then he feels the detonator on his back, still clutched in her hands, and he thinks of all the scared students in the gym and all the crying parents outside, and he pushes her away. 

He can't meet her eyes, but he can feel her staring. "Phoenix?"

"You need to stop this," it comes out so softy that she barely hears, but he's struggling so hard to push the words through, to say what he needs to say. This is not like when he caught her red-handed at their house, when he flipped out because he simply couldn't believe that she was capable of it. He knows now that she is, and he's scared and he knows he can't run to her, can't rely on her, not this time. He needs to stand up to her, and he needs to do it on his own.

Her faces changes. She realises what he's trying to say and she doesn't like it. She steps back, her face is hard again. "I thought this thing with the coyote girl would be over by now."

"El -"

"Should've known when it comes to you, though."

"Excuse me?" Phoenix blinks, eyebrows furrowed together. "What the hell is supposed to mean?"

"I get it, Nix. Believe me, I do. She's this mystery and this whole other world and it's exciting. You think you love her. Maybe you do. But that's not what matters. What matters is that she is what killed Mom and Dad" And then she laughs, like it's all some kind of joke. "Wake up, baby brother. This isn't some fairytale."

Phoenix cannot believe what he's hearing. Cannot believe this is where the conversation is going. "I know that." Of course he knows that.

"Do you?" She questions, tilting her head. 

 Phoenix is expressionless for a moment. He lets it sink, has to take a minute cause she really didn't hold back and it feels like a slap in the face. "You're upset. I get that, but it's no excuse."

She scrunches her face, like she's genuinely confused, and scoffs, "Excuse? Excuse for what?"

"What you're doing." She gives a little sigh at this, which just angers Phoenix a little bit more. "Oh, give it a rest already, Ellie. Save me me the protection bullshit. Admit it. Admit that you're not doing this for me."

The confusion intensifies. "Of course I'm doing this for you."

"No, you're not," he says. "You couldn't be, because this is not who I am. This is not what I believe, and this is definitely what Mom and Dad believed."