Forbidden

Hurt.

Keanu's p.o.v-
After standing there for about 20 minutes I finally got some feeling back into my legs and made my way to the front of the house.
I turn the corner to the entrance of my house when I'm suddenly frozen from shock.
In front of me is Brodin and Tash, just holding eachother kissing. Now this was normal occurrence but it cut straight through my heart.
I couldn't move, breath or do anything. They eventually felt my presence and turned to face me. I saw Tash's whole face change from a feeling of absolute joy to horror.
She was horrified to see me, after everything that just happened she was horrified to see me.
It felt as if daggers were being literally jabbed into my heart, I could feel my eyes dwelling up with tears.
I had a quick conversation with Brodin and made my way inside.
I barely made it to the chair and table in time before the tears started streaming down my face.
*why am I crying? I haven't cried in literal years. It was just a drunken moment, how am I feeling so much pain right now. Is it the alcohol , am I actually dying? Dying would feel better than this.*
I glance up after a couple of minutes of calming myself down and see everyone is passed out except for Tash. Beautiful beautiful Tash just standing in the middle of the lounge. I could see the guilt in her face, the pain in her eyes.
She's torn, I can she is absolutely torn and I'm filled with even more guilt. How dare I make her feel this way, Iv made her feel like she's the only one who has done wrong tonight.
She slowly starts moving past me to get to the bathroom when I suddenly grab hold of her hand and pull her towards me.
I look up at her trying to cover up all the pain I'm really feeling. She's looking down at me with those beautiful misty blue eyes. She must be terribly upset , her eyes change colours with her moods and blue is her sad look. It's a pitty because she looks absolutely breath taking at this angle. I want to grab her, sit her on my lap and hold her. Tell her everything is going to be okay and just keep her safe. But I can't, I could never.
Keanu:I'm not angry or hurt, don't beat yourself up.
I lied, I really really did lie and I could see that she knew that but she smiled.
Dam that smile.
She bent down and kissed me ever so slightly on my drenched cheek.
In that moment my heart was no longer throbbing with pain, I was absolutely fine.
She whispered into my ear.
Tash: I'm so sorry.
I could hear the crackle in her voice as if she was about to burst into tears.
She pulled away and made her way to bed, next to Brodin, her boyfriend.
I guess I just need to remind myself that.

I'm sure everything will be better in the morning right ?