Forbidden

Guilt.

Tash's p.o.v-
I pulled away from Keanu and ran away, I couldn't bring myself to turn around. I couldn't bring myself to turn around and see a shocked and hurt Keanu.
I found Brodin standing in the entrance of the doorway of Richard and Keanu's house having a smoke.
Brodin: hey beautiful, where did you disappear to? Funny business with my friend?
I froze in place, did he see what happened?
He couldn't of.
Tash: sorry babe , Keanu dropped his keys and I was just helping him find it, you know how drunk he gets.
He chuckles and I sigh with relief.
Brodin: just joking babe, I'm sorry for tonight, I love you.
I feel a pang of guilt cut straight through my heart.
How could I do this to the boy I am head over heels in love with, how could I hurt him in such a way.
I grab his face and give him a kiss and he kisses me back, I feel so safe when I close my eyes and kiss him.
I pull away and he smiles , we both then turn to what seems like a shadow standing next to us. Keanu walked around the corner and saw us standing there just kissing and I could see the hurt in his eyes.
What I saw in front of me was a defeated and hurt boy, there was so much pain in his smile.
Brodin: you okay bro? That alcohol making its way back up?
Keanu looks from Brodin to me, he stares me right in the eyes while speaking to Brodin.
Keanu: yeah something like that.
He walks past us and I'm genuinely hurt, I feel as if Iv broken both his and my heart in a single moment.
Brodin: okay babe it's time for bed, it's been a long night.
Yes yes it definitely has.
We make our way inside and Trent is already passed out on the couch, Richard is arguing with a bottle of brandy and Keanu is sitting at the table.
His head is in his hands , all I want to do is scoop him up in my arms and apologize but I can't.
For both his and my life, for his best friend and my boyfriend I cannot do that for him.
Brodin stumbles his way to the bed and immediately passes out. I stood in the middle of the lounge not knowing what to do, what to say , nothing . I felt like screaming for the shit Iv done to the two boys who mean the most to me.
I decide to just call it a night and make my way to the bathroom to change when I feel Keanu catch my hand and pull me towards him.
He looks up at me with his beautiful emerald eyes, they so misty now as if he is about to burst into tears.
Keanu: I'm not angry or hurt, don't beat yourself up.
He ends off our short conversation with a smile and I feel the tears build up. How does he know me so well, he knows I'm carrying a burden. I can see the pain that is happening inside him and still he cares about how I feel.
I lean down and plant a light kiss on his cheek.
I feel him smile and I whisper in his ear.
Tash: I'm sorry.
I pull back and let go of his hand and go straight to bed, I no longer have the energy to get changed.