Blue ✔ | Pentagon Hui X CLC Sorn

ii

Hwitaek
7:42 PM

"I'm sorry."

Two words. Those two words seemed like a knife that cut my lifeline.

"I'm sorry, hyung. You're still welcome to stay for the night."

The words echoed in my head repeatedly. Just like that. This morning, I had been told that I can't sing anymore if I don't want to lose my voice completely. I better not even think about pursuing my band.

But the band is my life. I don't know anything else. I can't imagine a life without being able to do music.

I went to my room that I shared with one of my bandmates. I just shoved everything that's mine inside the duffel bag. Now that I look at it, I realized there's not a lot of things that's mine.

Only the guitar stands there in the corner of the room. My old guitar that's been unused for a long time. I grabbed the duffel bag, grabbed the guitar and looked around the room once more before closing the door.

"Hyung," Hyojong called, his brows knitted together. My roommate. My friend.

I silently hugged him. "I'm okay." I said, but this time the words came out  sounding somewhat choked. "Good luck. You'll do well."

He hugged me back. "I'm sorry, hyung. Jaeyoon shouldn't have thrown you out right away."

"He didn't. I'm just... leaving."

"But it's late. Just leave tomorrow, huh?" He asked pulling away.

I shook my head, widening my eyes because I felt like it was getting harder not to cry. "It's okay. I'll call you. I'm leaving."

"Hyung..."

I walked to the living room. Jaeyoon was nowhere around it. The two other band members silently gave me a tight hug. "Live well, hyung."

"We're sorry."

Now I'm walking on this sidewalk, lit dimly by the yellow street lights. It's summer night and the sky is so blue and dark, I feel like there's a storm coming. My heart feels heavy that it's actually hard for me to keep walking.

I dropped on my knees on the hard pavement and a scream escaped my mouth. I looked at my guitar. My most treasured guitar. And I hated it. I hated it so much at that moment, so I grabbed it and smashed it against the ground until there's nothing whole left.