Even Wilder

Chapter 16.

It's weird to think that just a few short months ago I was living in a house that I had been in for years, that I had felt like a guest in. But here, in Chicago, here, with Lip, feels like home. He feels like home.

We've been back together for almost two months now, since then we have been on cloud 9. We spend every waking moment with each other. Sure, we get into little arguments over pointless things; picking up dirty clothes, leaving dishes around; small but simple things, sometimes it feels suffocating, we both have said it, but we get our alone time while we are at work.

Speaking of work, things have gotten...well more or less awkward. Connor avoids me at all costs, will schedule us completely different shifts and makes sure he's out before I'm in. I've tried calling him, texting him to see what's wrong, but no answers. When I ask the others what his deal is they just shrug it off or avoid the question all together.

Do you ever feel like your whole body is annoyed by something? You can feel it tingling through your finger tips? Your brain wants to think of other things but then switches back to what's aggravating you like a broken switch?

That's how the whole Connor avoiding me situation feels. I didn't do anything to him? I didn't say anything wrong?

I sit at the register facing the window staring blankly, deep in my thoughts, until the door swings open making the bell chime through the small coffee shop. I gasp, jumping slightly. I shake out of it and look at the entrance. Ian walks in with another paramedic, a tall, less attractive guy. He sinks into himself when he catches me staring at the two.

"Jessica, lovely seeing you here as always" Ian takes my hand and kisses the top "Charlie, this is my brothers girlfriend." I nod at him "nice to meet you Charlie" he smiles lightly and nods back at me.

"Well" I clear my throat "what can I get for you guys?" Ian smirks "I was hoping you could actually do me a favor. Lip's been a little MIA since you guys have reconciled ya know, which we are all one hundred and ten percent okay with. But, Fiona's birthday is coming up. We are going to throw her a surprise party. He said he doesn't want to go because he knows drinking will be involved. We have already banned the booze. So please get him to come tomorrow night. You come too?" "I'll try my hardest" "thank you so much Jess, I owe you" "well if the time ever comes just save my life" we all laugh, he waves then steps out of the store with his strange partner. I watch them walk across the street and into the diner.

The store is always slow in the afternoon, our busiest time is obviously in the morning, with it being an off time like 1, no one ever comes in. Alyssia asked if I could stay a few hours after my shift to cover her while she is at a doctors visit. I went to the kitchen to wash a few more cups and trays. The front door bell opened, the bell ringing. I heard footsteps coming towards the back. Connor appears rushing down the hallway nearly bumping into me. "Oh. Jess I'm sorry, I didn't see you there....isn't Alyssia supposed to be here? Weren't you supposed to leave?" A snarl laugh escapes from my throat "of course because you've been avoiding me for months now. Why don't you just fire me so you never have to see me again?" Guilt washes over his face "Jess I didn't mean it like that. I just...needed some time" "some time for what?" "Not now" "no tell me" our argument started speeding up, heat building "Jessica" "No Connor, what, what is it" "I just" "Tell m-" Connor pushed me against the sink, pressing his lips against mine. They were hungry, needing touch, desperate. I pushed him away, looking into his eyes, his running back and forth on my face. Our chests rising and falling at a fast rate. He grabbed the back of my neck pulling me toward him again. My hands tangle themselves into his hair grasping at his roots. He moans, the deep raspiness makes me snap out of the daze I was in. I pushed him back for the last time. "Connor we can't...I can't" his eyes were the size of saucers, they mirrored the same expression as my own; guilt. "I'm sorry." He said rubbing his face, leaning against the refrigerator opposite to the sink. I wiped off the remaining presence of him from my lips. "I didn't want to be the girl that cheated on her boyfriend. I can't be that girl." I begin talking to myself. Connor comes in and embraces me, bringing me into his chest. We were pressed together, every inch of me could feel his touch. For something that was wrong, it felt so right. The door jingled again. I forcefully pushed Connor away, rushing to the front. Alyssia walked in dragging her feet, her face flushed. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked as she made her way behind the counter. "I don't really want to talk about it right now. Thanks for covering me" I nodded, taking off my hat and apron, I walked back through the kitchen to the lockers that were next to the office. Connor sat in his office chair facing the wall, staring blankly rubbing his lips. Did he feel the same sensation that I did? I quickly shoved my belongings in the locker, taking out my purse and throwing it over my shoulder. I walked quickly out of the store and didn't look back.