Chasing Cali (Upper East Side One)

Chapter Twenty-Three

23 - Blame

I kept thinking about what I did to Jax yesterday and today. Am I that harsh? I went bitching around him, but he didn't complain. He didn't stop me from doing that to him. He just let me do that, and he's even the one who's more understanding.

Maybe he knew that it is alright because he's the one who started it. He tolerated it, knowing he's the one who made a mistake. Siya lang at wala akong ginawa kundi tanggapin na naman siya sa buhay ko.

I knew that I changed. Mas lalo akong nahirapan magtiwala. Maybe the pain consumed me, and anger is the only one left in me.

Kaya kahit simpleng bagay ay hinahanapan ko ng butas para makapagsimula ng away. Kahit konting galaw niya lang ay nakakapagpairita sa akin.

I love him, but I don't know what to do anymore. I need to vent out my anger. He's the one who put me through this, so it's better to fire him back with my emotions full of anger and disappointments.

Para matanggal muna ang iniisip ko ay pinagtuunan ko na lang ng pansin ang trabaho ko. I also skipped lunch to finish my works. But I took my snacks.

It's already 5 P.M. when I'm done. I'm currently fixing my things when my office door opened. My secretary went in when I allowed her to enter.

"What is it, Sarah?" I asked without looking at her.

"Ma'am, Sir Jax is waiting for you outside." She responded. I stilled but managed to calm myself down. Huminga ako nang malalim at hinarap siya.

"Okay, tell him I'm almost done." Sagot ko.

"Sige, Ma'am." She excused herself and went out.

Nang matapos ako ay lumabas na ako at nakita siyang nakaupo. I presumed that he's texting somebody. Maybe it's Maddy and made my anger arise. I passed by him without calling him.

"Baby, wait for me." He said, but I didn't stop. I continued walking until he's beside me and equaled my pace. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. He kissed my forehead na hindi ko naman napiglan dahil sa biglaan niya itong ginawa.

"How's work, baby?" he gently asked as we entered the lift.

"It's fine." Walang gana kong sagot kaya hindi na siya nagsalita pa. Tuloy tuloy na lang kaming naglalakad pagkalabas namin sa elevator.

I felt so exhausted, so I let him opened the car door for me. Dinala ko ang kamay ko sa aking sentido at hinilot. I felt a little bit dizzy. Dahil na rin sa sobrang pagod sa trabaho at isama na rin ang hindi ko pagkain noong lunch.

I felt my hand held by Jax and put it down. He replaced my hand with his. He massaged my temple, and I felt relieved. Nang medyo okay na ang pakiramdam ko ay tinapik ko na ang braso niya.

"I'm okay. Let's go home." He nodded and kissed my forehead. Jax turned his eyes to the road, and he drove to his penthouse. Paminsan-minsan ay nakikita ko siyang sumusulyap sa akin.

Inalalayan niya ako pagbaba sa sasakyan niya at ibinigay ang susi sa valet na naroon. He held my waist tightly like he's afraid I might stumble down if he wouldn't hold me like this.

"I'll sleep now. You can eat first if you want. I'll take my dinner when I wake up." Walang lingon kong sabi sa kanya.

I heard his slow sighs. "I'll wait for you, baby. I'm not hungry yet." I nodded without looking and headed to the room.

Hindi ko na makayanan ang sakit ng ulo ko. Nagsabay sabay na lahat. Pero ang pinakamasakit ay iyong puso ko. From all the heartaches inflicted by Jax. It was deep-rooted.