My biggest regret was ever loving that idiot that I call an ex boyfriend. Yeah, the signs were there. About 15 girlfriends who lasted no more than a week. Asking me out repeatedly after a day despite me saying I was wanted to stay friends. But I can't blame him wearing me down. I made the choice to date him, I made the choice to stay his friend after we broke up. I made the choice to care about him. I shouldn't have been so scared to break up and let it go on for a month. I never should have been scared to leave him cause I cared about him. That's what I get for caring about him. He saw no point for him to change, but he cheated on one of his later girlfriends then was upset and confused to why she was upset. He ignored his friends for his girlfriend. He made me feel like shit for not giving him exactly what he wanted even though he knew I wasn't comfortable doing that! He told me to be fake to do what he wanted! I fucking hate you, you worthless rat!!! I wish I had never loved you or cared about you!!! I wish I had never met you!!!
Fuck. He even fucked up my current relationship. I was pretty scared and suspicious of my girlfriend for a while. I was just waiting for her to do what he did. But she isn't him. He thought he was the nicest guy in the world and he thought everyone should accept him when in reality he treats people like shit, constantly complains but never tries to change anything, won't accept responsibility for his actions, and he talks about EVERYONE behind their back, insulting them and blaming them for not being like he wants. He's incredibly selfish and not self aware at all. He thinks he's actually the victim every time because I didn't do what he wanted even when I told him no or tried to say I wasn't comfortable or when I asked him not to do something. He'd yell at me over stuff then blame it on his ADD or anxiety (which he isn't diagnosed with anxiety.) He'd say he was suicidal all the time and even blamed me for it a few times. I fucking hate him. Have fun failing in life, you piece of shit. Or he'd blame things on his personality type, but never accept responsibility for his actions. Jesus fucking Christ. I hate that asshole. He will always be my biggest mistake. I should never have loved him. I say I never truly loved him and I was only using him cause he gave me attention, but I know I did...he did make me happy when he wasn't yelling at me or being an asshole or making me feel like shit...he and I had some good times even as friends...but he's far too toxic and I can never go back. I hate him so much.
