Against All Odds

Chapter 18 - 2am

Now as strong as I may portray myself to be, I am actually a big baby when it comes to really emotional things. And this was one of those times. It has been about a month since Brittany has died and it still feels like it just happened yesterday. Her funeral was in a couple days and I didn't know if I was ready for it. I have been in the apartment by myself for the past week because Emily's dad just came home from deployment and he wanted her to spend time with him before he was sent back. I was trying to be alright on my own, but it hasn't been easy. The first couple nights I cried myself to sleep and by the time I was exhausted enough to actually sleep my alarm would go off. Emily texted me all day and would call me before she went to sleep at night. It was hard with out her. I didn't think I depended so much on her until now.

It was like 2 am and I was wide awake laying in bed. I grabbed my phone off of the dresser and called Emily. It rang and rang and then went to voicemail. I expected it, I didn't think she was going to answer the phone.

"Hey babe. It's me. I can't sleep and I just figured I'd call and maybe you'd answer but it's okay. I know it's late. Just call me in the morning okay? I love you."

After I ended the call, I scrolled down my contacts list and went to the one person who I knew would answer my call.

"San do you know what time it is?"

"I'm sorry Quinn, I can't sleep. I haven't been able to for the past week since Emily went home to see her dad." I rolled over to face the wall.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know that I could've came out there and stayed with you. All you had to do was call." I heard someone in the background. "Sorry babe go back to sleep. It's San."

"Oh damn I'm sorry. Maybe I should've just texted you instead. I know it's probably late."

"It's fine, Santana. Cut it out. Rachel's just a light sleeper. If you want, I can drive out there so we can go back to Lima together. Emily is coming, right?"

"Yeah of course she is. She's going to meet me there. That's the same day that her dad is leaving to go back to Afghanistan. So she's going with him to the airport and catching a flight to Lima." I plugged my headphones into my phone so that I could scroll through Instagram. "Would you really come out here?"

As I said that, I heard a car starting. "I'm already on my way. Be there in a couple hours, San." And she hung up.

I went to my pictures and found a video that I didn't remember recording. It was Emily. I sat up in my bed and pressed play.

Hey baby. I know I'm not there with you right now and I feel really bad and I'm sorry. But my dad doesn't come home all the time and I needed to see him. I just want you to know that I love you very much and I'll be with you soon okay? Don't cry alright, I can already see the tears. I'll be home soon. I love you.

And of course she was right, I was crying. I pulled my earphones out of my ears. Every night since she left, all I did was cry. I felt like I was crying for hours that night. I got up from my bed and walked outside into the kitchen. The freezer was just restocked with alcohol, without Emily knowing of course. She would never let me buy alcohol. I grabbed the bottle of vodka out and sat on the couch and turned the tv on. I stayed up all night thinking about Brittany. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she would run up to me when she got out of class. Here I was, sitting in my living room in the middle of the night drinking vodka and watching an informercial on QVC. I threw my head back and got really dizzy. So dizzy that I didn't want to move. I closed my eyes and ended up falling asleep.

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I woke up the next morning to the sound of my doorbell ringing and my neck was stiff as fuck. I pulled my head up off of the back of the couch and got up.